Thusday Thoughts
If you want to follow along, this is the first post.
Depression Part 2
My depression got bad folks.
Like real bad.
I was lethargic every day...
Never did what I meant to...
Would forget to eat...
Would snap easily...
Was suicidal...
Woke up literally every single morning for most of it legitimately pissed off that I was still alive.
Went to sleep every night legitimately asking to not wake up.
I wanted to die.
I pictured all the ways it could either "just happen" or that I could do it.
I wanted absolutely nothing from this world at all.
I was so far past hope it was silly. Hope ain't real anyway but that is another post.
I was on a dark path. A path leading only to my own destruction and the deterioration of my family.
So there's one thing I want to make abundantly clear!
Depression is not an illness, disease or disorder.
These are terms used in medical practice that make it easier to define and talk about yet...
Telling yourself that something is "wrong with you" while you're fucking depressed is pure insanity!
You don't have the disease called depression...
You don't have a disorder that makes you act this way...
This is not an illness...
There is nothing wrong with you...
Depression is merely a state of mind.
You are sad...
Very, very sad.
Allowing oneself to believe that there is a condition causing ones depression is pure folly.
If I convince you right now that you have "something wrong with you"...
Then I give it a name, it's name is frank.
Now you have "frank" the illness.
You don't know shit about frank, never heard of frank and the last frank you met was an asshole so what the actual fuck is going on?!
"What doc?!"
"I have something?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Oh no!!!!"
"Shit, everybody!"
"I have something!!"
"Doc called it Frank!"
"Fuck, guys..."
"I HAVE FRANK!!!!!!!"
Still listening?
Frank is not fucking real wake up.
What frank is now doing in your mind though is quite real indeed.
Frank is the term used by the Doctor for his study.
Using the term "frank" allows the science to go deeper as you can add to something "defined".
Frank, to the doctor only means a set of symptoms that seem to add up.
The doctor's knowledge of frank is from what they were taught.
Nearly 0 doctors today are actually doing research to prove a damn thing they administer. Instead often just monitoring patients and drugging them a different way if the first don't work.
They are even influenced to not trust anything not from the knowledge line they were taught from.
Doctors, and many other medical practitioners today, may as well be called "Administer-ers" because that is really what they do.
Stop putting all of your faith in doctors. It's literally like intentionally putting your very life in the hands of McDonalds employees.
Sometimes they really fuck your order up.
You cannot "catch" depression.
It's more like falling into it...
Super...
Super...
Slow falling.
By the time you notice the falling, you're often pretty far down.
So it's pretty easy to convince you that it is an illness...
Something outside of yourself that's causing it...
It is not.
Previous posts in this series:
Thursdays Thoughts | Depression Part 1
Thursday Thoughts | Depression Part 2
by Michael David
Co-founder of #thealliance and loyal since before the egg.
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