**When “Good Memories” Become Risky Triggers** ----------------------------------------------

Episode 12 of The Support and Kindness Podcast explores a common challenge for people in recovery: nostalgia for substance use. Triggers are often seen as negative - stress, loss, anger. But sometimes a trigger is a pleasant memory. You might suddenly recall drinking or using as fun, freeing, or social, while forgetting the hangovers, pain, and harm. Greg and co-hosts Derek, Rich, Liam, and Jay speak openly about how the brain romanticizes the “good old days” and leaves out the parts that nearly destroyed you. In this conversation, they explain how this mental trap works, how it affects people such as musicians and art fans, and offer practical tips to stay grounded when the past tempts you. * * *

Content Advisory

This episode discusses substance use, cravings, and relapse triggers. This episode shares personal reflections and is not a substitute for professional advice.

* * *

In this episode, you’ll explore

Why nostalgia can feel comforting _and_ dangerous in recovery * Common triggers (music, places, objects, stress, loneliness) * Practical tools like **HALT** and Greg’s **3 R’s** * How to build **positive nostalgia** that supports sobriety—not relapse * * *

When the Past Starts Editing the Story

Greg opens by naming the trap clearly: nostalgia isn’t always “bad”… but substance use nostalgia can be. **It’s the pull toward the feelings of using:** * Freedom * Connection * Relief **Without the full picture:** * Hangovers * Shame * Fallout * Injuries * Lost time * Broken trust

“Substance use nostalgia… is a dangerous distortion… It’s a longing for the feelings and the experiences associated with drugs, substances, or alcohol, and it’s a significant trigger for relapse.” - Greg Shaw That idea has support in research, too: studies describe “addiction-related nostalgia” as a real psychological experience that can stir **craving** and **mixed feelings about recovery**, especially when stress or reminders show up. ([PubMed](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38353636/?utm_source=chatgpt.com)) This is one of the most important takeaways early on: * **Having nostalgic thoughts doesn’t mean you failed.** * It means your brain is doing what brains do: linking memories to emotion. * * * ### Triggers Don’t Always Look Like “Triggers” One of the most helpful parts of this episode is how each co-host shows that triggers can be **obvious** or **sneaky**. Greg breaks triggers into two buckets: * **Internal triggers** (what’s happening inside you): stress, sadness, anxiety, loneliness, hunger, exhaustion * **External triggers** (what’s happening around you): people, places, objects, music, smells, celebrations Research backs up why this matters: drug- and alcohol-related cues can raise craving and are linked with higher odds of future use/relapse - across substances and settings. ([PMC](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9161117/?utm_source=chatgpt.com)) #### Rich: “It romanticizes the past” Rich describes how fast a moment can transport you.

``` “It romanticizes the past… and it can be really dangerous to romanticize former drug use. You’re putting yourself back in that position…” - Rich ``` He also shares a powerful long-view shift:

``` “Having… 27 years… my cravings are not… threatening… I view them purely as memory… of youth and nothing more.” - Rich ``` That’s not a promise that cravings vanish. It’s a reminder that **your relationship to them can change**. #### Liam: Music, joy, and pain in the same memory Liam’s story hits a deep truth: some people used in environments that truly mattered to them, like music scenes, friendships, creativity.

``` “I have so many memories… because it also revolved around music… we had a lot of great times.” - Liam ``` But he holds both sides at once:

``` “There was a young man… in a lot of trouble mentally because I was trying to treat so many things with substances… I was masking so much underlying pain.” - Liam ``` And then the question that lands hard:

``` “How much better could they have been if I was sober and had so much more clarity?” - Liam ``` #### Jay: “You are worth more than that” Jay’s message is direct and protective.

``` “Try not to let these triggers take away the progress that you’ve made… You are worth more than that.”- Jay ``` He also shares how nostalgia can be tied to identity and youth:

``` “My senior year, it felt like we were kings… cruising around… listening to good music.” - Jay ``` Then he names the turning point when it stopped being “just fun”:

``` “It started getting unhealthy… caused me to have a drunk driving accident… That’s when it starts to become a problem…” - Jay ``` #### Derek: Emotional spikes as the real danger Derek’s triggers are less about sights or songs and more about **emotional upheaval** - that surge of frustration, grief, or overwhelm.

``` “It's an emotional upheaval where I just get this flare… I’ll just endure, and then it’ll pass.” - Derek ``` His self-talk is firm and honest:

``` “I choose to not let it get the best of me because I’ve come too far to muck it up over one stupid little fleeting moment of grief.” - Derek ``` * * * ### Tools That Help in the Moment This episode doesn’t just describe the problem—it offers simple tools that real people actually use.

Greg’s “3 R’s” (a quick internal protocol)

Greg offers a fast, practical coping sequence: 1. **Recognize**: _“This is a craving.”_ 2. **Remind**: _“I don’t have to act on this.”_ 3. **Remove**: _Step away from the trigger if you can._ It’s simple on purpose. Because when cravings hit, long plans can be hard to access.

``` “A craving is like a wave - it rises and it falls and you don’t have to ride it all the way to relapse.” - Greg ``` That “wave” idea is also a well-known approach in recovery skill-building: mindfulness-based strategies can help you notice craving as **temporary**, instead of a command you must obey. ([PMC](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6247953/)) #### HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) Greg brings back a classic recovery tool: **HALT**. The idea is not “fix your whole life.” It’s: **check basic needs early**, because ignoring them makes cravings louder. HALT is commonly connected to Alcoholics Anonymous as a simple reminder tool for early recovery needs. ([NCBI](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK601489/box/ch2.b11/?report=objectonly) **Try a quick HALT check-in (30 seconds)**

* Have I eaten recently? * Am I angry or stressed? * Am I lonely or disconnected? * Am I tired or running on fumes? If the answer is “yes” to any of these, your next right step might be **food, rest, water, a text to someone safe**, or simply leaving a risky setting. ### SMART Recovery’s Urge Log (pattern-finding, not shame) The episode also points listeners toward tools like SMART Recovery, including urge tracking worksheets. SMART Recovery’s Urge Log encourages you to note what triggered the urge, how strong it was, what you did, and what to try next time - without treating slips as moral failure. ([SMART Recovery](https://smartrecovery.org/urge-log)) * * * ### Real-World Boundary Moves (Not Just “Willpower”) One reason this episode works is that the hosts don’t pretend cravings are defeated by positive thoughts alone. They talk about **environment changes** and **boundaries**.

#### Greg: “I can’t tempt fate” Greg shares a specific example from his inhalant history, how even seeing a canister could spark a full body memory. **So he removed the risk where he could:**

* No canned air at home * Uses a battery-powered blower instead That’s not a weakness. That’s wisdom: **you’re designing your space to protect your future self**.

Rich: “I had to excuse myself”

Rich’s blotter-paper story is a perfect example of how “harmless” content can shift into glorifying use. It started as interest in art… then turned into dosage talk, nostalgia, and drug praise. And he did the best possible thing: * He left the conversation. That’s a boundary win—especially online, where the brain can get pulled in fast. #### Jay: Early recovery = avoid the “almost safe” places

Jay suggests something many people need to hear (without shame): * If you’re early in recovery, don’t hang out where alcohol is everywhere * Choose restaurants that don’t double as bars * Reduce exposure until you feel steadier This is not about fear. It’s about **timing**. * * * ### Positive Nostalgia: The Kind That Keeps You Sober A beautiful turn in the episode is that nostalgia isn’t treated as the enemy. Jay shares a powerful example: his **10-year coin**, a symbol tied to support, care, and early recovery community.

``` “When I look at this, it takes me back to my early sobriety… where I met a lot of people that cared about me…” - Jay ``` That’s the replacement many people need: * Not “never remember the past” * But **build new memories** that become _safe to revisit_ Liam says something similar in a forward-looking way: he wants to return to music, but with a plan - so he can create new memories with clarity. That’s a powerful recovery goal: * **Keep the thing you love** * **Change the way you live inside it** * * * ### Key Takeaways * Substance use nostalgia often **filters the past**, keeping the “highlights” and deleting the harm. * Triggers can be **external** (songs, places, objects) or **internal** (stress, loneliness, exhaustion). * Cravings are real, but they are often **temporary** and can be ridden like a wave. * Greg’s **3 R’s** (Recognize, Remind, Remove) give a quick plan for the moment cravings hit. * **HALT** helps you catch basic needs that make urges stronger when ignored. ([NCBI](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK601489/box/ch2.b11/?report=objectonly)) * Boundaries aren’t overreacting, they’re **protective actions** (leaving a chat, changing routines, avoiding risky places). * Long-term recovery can shift cravings from “threat” to “memory,” but it still helps to stay aware. * Positive nostalgia exists - coins, first sober holidays, supportive people - memories that strengthen recovery. * * *

Closing

If this episode hits a nerve, you’re not “weak” or “broken.” You’re human, and recovery asks a lot of the human brain and heart. The message running through this conversation is simple but strong: * Cravings and nostalgia can show up without taking your progress away. * * * #### What’s a trigger you didn’t expect? And what helps you come back to yourself when a craving wave rises? If you’re comfortable, share in the comments.

* * * ### Listen to The Podcast

[https://open.spotify.com/episode/3VXj261UuHMLG6CKdGzreA?si=zTnECzGkTTKMxoQk7SJL0A](https://open.spotify.com/episode/3VXj261UuHMLG6CKdGzreA?si=zTnECzGkTTKMxoQk7SJL0A) * * * ### Join Our Weekly Virtual Support Groups (KindnessRX)

We host free online support groups every week. Each group offers a safe, confidential space to connect with people who understand similar struggles and to find practical, emotional, and peer support. * * * #### Mondays - 1:00 PM to 2:00 PM EST

**Brain Injury Support Group: Understanding Life After Brain Injury** Living with a brain injury can affect memory, mood, physical ability, and relationships. Whether you’re newly diagnosed or have been managing for years, recovery is often long and complex. Our Brain Injury Support Group provides a compassionate online community where members share experiences, offer practical tips, and support each other through the ups and downs of life after brain injury. * * * #### Tuesdays - 12:00 PM to 1:00 PM EST \\

**Chronic Pain Support Group: The Silent Struggle of Living with Chronic Pain** Chronic pain is persistent and often invisible, taking an emotional as well as physical toll. This group offers hope, understanding, and connection - helping members reduce isolation, build resilience, and find practical strategies for daily life. * * * #### Wednesdays - 7:30 PM to 8:30 PM EST \\

**Mental Health Support Group: Understanding the Need for Mental Health Support** In a world that often misunderstands mental health challenges, our Mental Health Support Group offers a welcoming space to discuss depression, anxiety, and overall emotional wellness. Through open conversation and peer support, members work toward breaking stigma and finding practical steps for healing and connection. * * * #### To sign up, visit our Luma Calendar:

[https://luma.com/calendar/cal-oyT0VPlVTKCPxBw](https://luma.com/calendar/cal-oyT0VPlVTKCPxBw) * * *

Resources and links

Crisis and treatment support (U.S.)

* **988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline** – Call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org for free, confidential, 24/7 support for suicidal thoughts, emotional distress, or substance‑related crises. ([988 Lifeline](https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=chatgpt.com)) * **SAMHSA’s National Helpline – 1‑800‑662‑HELP (4357)** – Free, confidential, 24/7, 365‑day‑a‑year treatment referral and information service (English/Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders. [1-800-662-HELP (4357)](https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/helplines/national-helpline) * **FindTreatment.gov** – U.S. behavioral health treatment locator to search for nearby services by location, insurance, type of care, and more. [FindTreatment.gov](https://findtreatment.gov/) * **Crisis Text Line (U.S.)** – Text HOME to 741741 for free, 24/7 text‑based crisis counseling with a trained crisis counselor. ([Crisis Text Line](https://www.crisistextline.org/?utm_source=chatgpt.com)) * **The Trevor Project** – 24/7 crisis support for LGBTQ+ youth by phone, text, and chat. [The Trevor Project](https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/) * **Trans Lifeline** – Peer‑run support hotline offering emotional and crisis support for trans people. [Trans Lifeline](https://translifeline.org/hotline/) * * *

Organizations and mutual‑help tools

* **SMART Recovery – Urge Log Worksheet** – Printable worksheet to track urges, triggers, intensity, and coping responses without shame; fits well with Greg’s 3 R’s and the HALT check‑in. [SMART Recovery- Urge Log Worksheet](https://smartrecovery.org/urge-log) * **SMART Recovery (program)** – Global, secular recovery support program using CBT and motivational tools; includes online meetings and additional worksheets on cravings and “urge surfing. [https://smartrecovery.org/](https://smartrecovery.org/) * * *

Science on nostalgia, cues, and craving

“The Long Shadow of Addiction‑Related Nostalgia” (Substance Use & Misuse, 2024) – Identifies “addiction‑related nostalgia” as a distinct experience; higher nostalgia is linked with greater ambivalence about recovery and can complicate long‑term change, mirroring the episode’s theme of “good memories” becoming risky.pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih

* **“Association of Drug Cues and Craving With Drug Use and Relapse” (JAMA Network Open, 2022)** – Meta‑analysis showing that drug‑related cues and elevated craving are associated with more than double the odds of subsequent drug use or relapse across substances and settings. [Association of Drug Cues and Craving With Drug Use and Relapse](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9161117/) * **Mindfulness‑based approaches to craving (“urge surfing”)** – Clinical guides and reviews describe teaching people to experience cravings as rising and falling waves rather than commands to act, supporting Greg’s “you don’t have to ride it all the way to relapse” [https://www.dartmouth-hitchcock.org/sites/default/files/2021-03/urge-surfing.pdf](https://www.dartmouth-hitchcock.org/sites/default/files/2021-03/urge-surfing.pdf) * * *

Practical tools, worksheets, and guides

* **HALT / HALTS worksheets (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Sick/Stress/Sensory)** – Printable checklists that help people scan for basic unmet needs that often amplify urges, widely used in relapse‑prevention and early‑recovery planning.[https://nada.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/HALTS-Worksheet.pdf](https://nada.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/HALTS-Worksheet.pdf) * **Therapist Aid – Urge Surfing Worksheet** – Client‑friendly worksheet to practice observing urges, labeling thoughts and body sensations, and watching them peak and pass.[therapistaid](https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/urge-surfing-handout) * **Relapse‑Prevention Toolkit (NHS/CBT‑style workbook)** – Self‑help style PDF covering early warning signs, “red flags,” and personalized relapse‑prevention plans that can be adapted to substance use nostalgia and unexpected triggers. [https://www.elft.nhs.uk/sites/default/files/2022-05/relapse-prevention.pdf](https://www.elft.nhs.uk/sites/default/files/2022-05/relapse-prevention.pdf) * **HALT overview articles (e.g., Addiction Policy / treatment‑clinic guides)** – Short psychoeducational pieces explaining HALT as a quick emotional check‑in to reduce risk of impulsive use when hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. [https://www.addictioncenter.com/community/top-10-relapse-prevention-skills/](https://www.addictioncenter.com/community/top-10-relapse-prevention-skills/) * * *

Videos and talks (nostalgia, recovery, meaning)

* **“Redefining Recovery” – Tom Gill (TEDx Rutgers)** – Personal story of addiction and recovery that explicitly names how memory can highlight the “good parts” of using and minimize the damage, describing nostalgia as a force that pulls against change. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7T01kJlnk8 * **“Everything You Think You Know About Addiction Is Wrong” – Johann Hari (TED)** – Explores connection, environment, and meaning as core to addiction and recovery, useful context for understanding why the “good old days” of using can feel socially and emotionally magnetic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY9DcIMGxMs * **TED & TEDx Addiction & Recovery playlist (YouTube)** – Curated set of talks on addiction, craving, and recovery identities; helpful for listeners who resonate with story‑based, hopeful narratives alongside the podcast. [youtube](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLoSb2Pj_hSuZKmk5NjxA9zNcGY3VSCk5I) * * *

Books and memoirs (nostalgia, memory, and recovery)

* **The Recovering: Intoxication and Its Aftermath – Leslie Jamison** – Blends memoir and cultural criticism; reflects on how addiction is wrapped in powerful stories and nostalgia, and how recovery involves rewriting those narratives. [https://ew.com/books/addiction-recovery-memoirs/](https://ew.com/books/addiction-recovery-memoirs/) * **Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget – Sarah Hepola** – Explores blackout drinking, memory gaps, and the seductive pull of alcohol‑soaked “good times,” while examining how longing for the past can delay moving forward. [https://crimereads.com/addiction-books-17-modern-classics/](https://crimereads.com/addiction-books-17-modern-classics/) * **Addiction recovery memoir collections (various lists)** – Curated lists of modern memoirs highlight a recurring pattern: people often recall early substance use with warmth and excitement, then gradually confront the hidden costs and trauma beneath those memories. [https://katiemacbride.com/2014/10/20/my-10-favorite-addiction-recovery-memoirs/](https://katiemacbride.com/2014/10/20/my-10-favorite-addiction-recovery-memoirs/) * * * Edited with the assistance of ChatGPT. Images created with Nano Banana and ChatGPT. I hold commercial licenses for each. * * * #kindness #podcast #recovery #addictionrecovery #sobriety #relapseprevention #mentalhealth #mindfulness #cwh #community * * *

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