Teeth chattering, a bug-eyed ball of frizz dug its claws into the wooden counter. “M-m-m-more!” it demanded. “You’ve had enough,” the man in the stained white apron said with a wave. “M-M-M-MORE!” it

So there I was, string tied to my dick as was the local custom, when I felt a great grumbling rumbling in my stumbling. I mean stomach. Why’d I say stumbling? Weird. Anyhow, my stomach felt like two cats

I had almost made it. The Warden had dozed off in his chair again and I had to take the chance. I had spent hours upon hours, days upon days, chipping, rubbing, wiggling, and otherwise accelerating entropy

It had been a full day since the family first sought refuge in the small cabin. The hours had been spent pacing, arguing, and, for the two youngest members, huddling together under the table. They knew

“Beam yourself up!” “I’m sorry, what did you say?” “I said beam yourself. The fuck. Up.” “How dare you speak to your commanding officer like that?” “Oh, I dare.” “You’re on thin ice!” “What are you going

“It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” -Socrates ‘This was supposed to be easy,’ I thought, having heard the challenges and feats expected

Sunshine and smiles permeated the small encampment. Anything seemed possible on a day like today, and the trio were bubbling with excitement. “I bet we’ll find monsters!” said Josh, a freckled boy of eight.

The bag wasn’t anything special, but it caught her eye. Everything seemed just the slightest bit more attractive than the purse she was carrying - the color seemed to match her dress, the clasps had a

“Madmen part their hair on the right, you know.” The statement was issued without the slightest acknowledgement of its target. The young woman who made the statement remained melted into the couch cushions,

“What’s with the long face?” “I have a bad feeling about that worm over there.” “How so?” “Well, Tommy went for one just like it an hour ago and I haven’t seen him since.” “That’s so Tommy - he’s probably

“Surf’s up dude!” “What are you, a stereotype?” “Whaddya mean? Like a Sony?” “You just said ‘surf’s up, dude’.” “Well, it is! If we don’t get going, we’ll miss it!” “Miss the surf?” “Yeah!” “How does one

"I swear I couldn't look away!" "What do you mean 'couldn't'?" "It had me transfixed! under a spell! Entranced!" "You mean to say you were completely unable t perform

"Well, who saw this coming?" one of the trio spoke after a moment's pause. Her companions shared a look and simultaneously shrugged their shoulders. "Really, really? You two mean to say

"Try not to focus too intently - you'll pop a synapse." The neophyte didn't acknowledge her senpai, daring not to spare even a glance. The object - her object - floated in front of her as a partially

It had already been a long day. Another two hour delay was met with laughter - the whole adventure turned to farce early in the trip and the crew realized the futility of anger in the face of nature. "I