I'm going to say this once. Men, please you can do better. What is it with using crazy lines to woo women these days? It is 2022 goddammit. What is the meaning of "you must be a thief because you have stolen my heart". Like seriously? Or heaven must be missing an angel because you are here with me. And you are wondering why girls don't fall for you? Next time you want to woo a woman try this, "Hey girl, I'll give you this $20 for just a smile". Try it and see magic.
Guys will be like they don't know what women want. What part of what women want don't you understand? Women are very simple beings. We don't want much. We only want love, affection, care, good food, fancy trips, boat ride, romantic dinners, lots of dates, loyalty, faithfulness, gentleness, peace, patience, kindness, money, lots of money, lots and lots of money, God fearing man, handsome, Is the list 200 yet?
It's okay that some guys wanna be romantic but there is a fine line between being romantic and needing a mental institution. Which one is I'll catch a grenade for ya. I'll jump Infront of the train for ya. You know the worse part? Bruno ended by saying 'but you won't do the same". What was he thinking? That baby girl of life would catch a grenade and blow her boobs into pieces? C'mon. Guys stop using that line. The last guy that jumped in front of the train for a woman was buried last week Saturday and the woman is on vacation with another man in Dubai.
Guys can be very funny. When asking a lady for a date, please specify the type of date. Nigerian guys you are on this table. Is the date a stroll? A sit out? A fancy dinner? Please specify. That's how one guy asked me for a dinner date and I was very excited. I got all dressed up in my dinner wear. My makeup took 3 hours, only for this guy to arrive at 6pm and say "You are dressed like you are going somewhere special".
I smiled and replied, "But of course, I'm going somewhere special with someone special".
What he said next shocked me. He pointed to a kiosk under a mango tree beside my house and said, "I just wanted us to sit under that tree and buy cold malt from Madam Celestina".
If you were me, what would you have done?
There is the grave misconception that girls like money. Each time I hear it I wonder if guys don't love money too. I know they will be fast to defend by saying not as much as we love it but who is measuring?
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Shout out to all the women on hive holding it down and making their own money. Y'all the real MVPs. It's good to have your own money as a woman. That's how a guy that has been trying to get my attention for a while asked me out for an after work date. I assumed it would be a lunch date considering that I close from work by 4pm and would be very hungry. He texted me the address of the restaurant and that confirmed my expectations of lunch. In my head I was already salivating because I know they cook really good meals at that restaurant.
I met him up and after exchanging pleasantries he said to me, "Ziz, I have just $3 (1500 naira) on me so please place an order for a bottle of coke and meat pie only". You ought to have seen my expression. I called the waiter and placed an order of two plates of jollof rice and chicken and two bottles of coke and paid for it. Anyways that was the end of the beginning.
Until I come your way again, this is The Comedy Rumble. Keep rumbling.
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