Not knowing how to cook is not a bad thing but it is a terrible thing when you do not know and do not know that you do not know and still go ahead to cook. Ben once made noodles and the noodles were swimming freely in the ocean of hot sauce. I didn't know if I was drinking noodles or eating it.
Anyways, I'm not here to talk about Ben today but about Ben's friend's wife. OMG! That was a mouthful. His friend Genesis recently got married and we decided to pay a visit to the latest couple in town. The wife prepared fresh fish pepper soup with white rice for us. Believe me when I tell you that the fish was indeed fresh inside the pepper soup. It was all slimy and yuck....talking about it still gives me the shivers.
Information reaching us now is that the wife is nowhere to be found. What happened? Relax, I'll give you the gist.
The wife took her husband to dinner last night at her favourite restaurant. They ordered two plates of wheat and bitter leaf soup. While they were eating, the husband complimented the cooking and mentioned how it tasted exactly like the one the wife cooks. The new wife sat opposite him with all smiles at the acknowledgement of how great a cook she was.
Everything was going fine until a delivery boy sighted them and approached the table. The husband noticed how uneasy the wife suddenly was. The boy started by apologizing for not supplying the soup that evening. He said he was on his way when his ride broke down and he needed to fix it.
"What is he talking about?" The husband asked.
The wife smiling replied, "I don't know darling. I think it is a case of mistaken identity".
"Haba Madam! Which identity mistaken", the boy continued. "No be identity. Haba madam, I bring soup for you every evening. Your address. Is ....."
The new wife stepped on him with her high heels to stop him from talking but the guy let out a loud "Ah! Madam, why are you matching me now? It's not my fault that I did not bring the soup on time, blame my ride. Is that why you and Oga come eat here tonight?"
The new wife couldn't bear it anymore. She raised her hand to smack his face but the delivery boy was quick enough to dodge. All these while Mr. Genesis watched the display with crossed arms waiting for them to finish with the theatrics. All he needed was a good explanation.
Turns out all these while Mr. Genesis was enjoying delicious soups at home, they were all ordered from that same restaurant. She orders the food from the restaurant and presents it as if it were home made once the husband comes back from home. He used to brag of how the wife makes different soups everyday because she loves her soup fresh, unknown to him that the wife can't cook but she was afraid if he knew while they were dating he wouldn't have married her. Last night, she met her waterloo when the soup didn't show up on time and decided to take her husband out instead for dinner.
Please, in case you find a 5ft 4 inches tall, dark skinned busty woman with a flat ass, please inform her that she should come back home. Mr Genesis has forgiven her and he has recruited me to help teach her how to cook.馃槈
She was last seen at Yokoto restaurant after she excused herself to go use the convenience.
Thank you, my fellow good citizens. 馃槣