The 5 Love Languages
Over the years, I've learned a lot about interacting and socializing with people. As an INTJ (Myer Briggs Personality Test, also another test to understand yourself better), It didn't come easy. I was a shy guy and still am. If you throw me into the crowd, I would probably slide away and go to the nearest bar or corner and play my phone. Yes, though I'm an Introvert, I'm a trained Extrovert. I can be choleric or a leader if need be. I can push myself to also be very outspoken when situation arises. But I would probably feel a slight discomfort.
So What is the 5 love Languages?
Simply put it, there are 5 types of affections shown by people in a relationship, mainly to know your primary love language/action, what it means to you and how you use them to connect to others. For me, this doesn't just narrow down to your intimate partner, but it can be your father, mother, and various loved ones. To be able to love effectively is to be able to speak the same language.
The 5 Love Languages Test - 10 minutes
For 12 being the highest, these are the scores to my love languages. For this, I'm going to explain it from my point of view, so that you can relate. Maybe share some experiences too and learn a thing or two. :)
PS. I'm no love guru but I always want to give my loved ones the best.
No. 1 Quality Time
The show of undivided attention really means a lot to you. Whether it's spending time doing something together, or just chilling and having a nice conversation. Usually, the relationship would deepen through the time spent together. For me, I always feel loved when someone were to give me just some time together uninterrupted. Doesn't have to be spending the time doing an activity, but just a simple call or text.
And as you can see, this is my highest love language. For friends and loved ones, u just gotta spend some time with me for me to feel loved by you. Sometimes a surprise message would let me know that you're thinking of me. :)
No. 2 Words of Affirmation
They say action speaks louder than words. But that's not always the case for me. I feel lots of love and appreciation when someone tells me how important I am to them. Hearing the words 'I love you' would probably put me on cloud 9 for few days and weeks. But this also reflects, when someone was to insult or say negative things about me. It will feel like the whole world will start crumbling down. For someone who has this as one of their top love language, an encouragement speaks volumes to them.
No. 3 Physical Touch
When you make the girl you like laugh and she touches your arm or grabs it. Your heart would probably skip a beat. Yes, physical touch is strong in this one. People who have this as their top love language needs a physical touch to assure them that they're loved. They're very touchy and this is how they would communicate their love to others as well. Appropriate touches can often calm, soothe or show love to the person. When I was in a relationship, I had to see my GF almost everyday and to cuddle, if not I would go havoc with 'i miss you' messages.
No. 4 Acts of Service
My father has a high score for this love language. He would constantly work day and night to make sure that my family is well and there's always food on the table. He is not a man of the physical touch, but he shows his love by making sure that we live a good life. Sometimes when it's not about being the bread winner of the family, it could be helping the one you love with a special project or as simple as homework. Easing someone else's burden and responsibilities is how you communicate your love to them. When someone portrays laziness and no commitments in the relationship, it may deliver a message that you don't care to the speaker of this language.
No. 5 Receiving gifts
It is not as straight forward as you think it is. It does not have to be materialisitic but the thoughtfulness and effort behind the gift. When someone shows you a nice gesture, you will feel loved, cared for and accepted. And what can destroy this someone who speaks this language? Probably when you've forgotten the important events, such as anniversaries, birthdays, monthsary and many more dates. Gifts are the symbol of your love and affection for each other.
Conclusion
Well, I usually do this test to understand myself more and how I see things. Sometimes things can be misinterpreted that you're not being loved by someone else, but maybe, their 'love languages' are different. Some may feel that giving a gift is a waste of time and money, but some may feel loved receiving them. So if you're interested, do take a go at the test and may your relationship flourish in time.
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