I was woken by the sound of banging on my door. I wondered who it might be at this early hour, with sleepy eyes I hurried towards the sitting room.
Who is that? I yelled
It's me...mama Jeff.
I looked around for the house key wondering what was so important she couldn't wait till the day breaks completely.
Sara! Where is Clara?
She is inside, should I get her for you? No, she said as she sat down on one of my couches.
I was just staring at her to state her reason for this unwanted visit but it seems she was finding it hard to say.
Sara! Another voice called out. I opened the door to see mama Ifeanyi standing at my terrace.
What is going on? Someone talk to me I said with a shaky voice.
It's mummy Sandra.
What happened?
Sh she...mama Jeff couldn't hold herself anymore so she burst into tears.
I stood there unable to move as many thoughts hit me. I clenched my fist to hold myself from crying.
I hope it ain't what I am thinking. I hope nothing is wrong with her?
Mama Ifeanyi let out a long sigh, shakes her head then muttered “death where is your sting”? Why would you take an innocent kindhearted woman?
Nooooooooooo...I screamed.
It can't be true. She was okay last night when I got a glimpse of her standing on her balcony. She greeted me but I acted deaf.
She can't be...no she can't be
Is she dead?
Sara, you have to be strong! God gives and God takes. It was her time that was why she had to go.
Cara walked into the sitting room with tears all over her face.
Did you know?
She looked at the two women as if she needed the approval to talk then held my hands.
I know right now you hate yourself for not forgiving her despite how hard she tried to make peace with you.
No!!! I need to go check for myself.
I stood up with the help of cara, I used the back of my palm to clean my tears then adjusted my dress.
People were already gathering to pay their respect to her family. Some familiar and some unfamiliar faces but I still didn't want to believe she was gone not until I confirm it myself.
I made my way to her flat and noticed the door was wide open. Peeking through the door, I saw people gathered around someone saying words of comfort and encouragement.
Could that be daddy Sandra? I looked around hoping to see mama Sandra but she was nowhere to be found.
Aunty Sara, a familiar voice called out.
Sandra! come over here.
She ran towards me and wrapped her hands around me sobbing. My heart stopped as tears rolled down my cheek.
So it is true! She was gone!
I looked at the little girl she left behind and couldn't hold myself anymore.
Aaaarrrrrhhhhhhh whyyyy?
Why must it be her? Why didn't she give me heads up? Why didn't I forgive her when she asked for forgiveness? Why was I so stubborn to let go and make peace.
I am sorry! I am so so sorry!
This is fiction but it is a real experience. Some of us find it hard to forgive past mistakes and we allow it to eat us up until it becomes late and we are left with guilt.
God our father forgives all our sins but he instructed us to forgive but we find it hard to forgive. Why?
Many relationships are on the verge of collapsing and some have collapsed just because we refused to forgive.
What if you get a phone call that that person you refuse to forgive is dead or on a sickbed, how would you feel?
Sad or happy?
Well, for you not to have regret. Reach out to that person!
