Did you run away?
Did you run away? I don’t need to know
If you ran away
If you ran away, come back home
Just come home
The warmth of a twirling sunray, guided by the wind on the bedroom curtains, slowly started to wake me up. Without opening my eyes yet, I stretched every muscle and rummaged under the sheets for a way out. The fragrance of fresh-made coffee finally gave me my sight back, along with an awakening hunger.
Sensing the cold parquet beneath my bare feet, I led to the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee. While tasting it, I tried to catch a glimpse of Alek through the window. Could he be working in the garden? Nothing. The remembrance of last night's fight frayed the thin strands of joy I had managed to gather this morning. So, I let the weight of mixed emotions carry me back to bed.
I thought my demons were almost defeated
But you took their side
And you pulled them to freedom
I kept your secrets and I thought that
You would do the same
— You don't want me anymore.
— Alek, of course I d...
He interrupted me, bursting in anger and pain. Irritation conferred his voice a harsh tone that hurt my ears.
— You're kicking me out, as you always try to do.
— I promise this is only a temporary solution. You know how much I love you.
— Then why are you kicking me out? You couldn't be more egoistic right now.
I looked down to the whitish pills in my left hand and watched the tears fall over them. I raised the glass of water and swallowed them along with the awful knot in my throat.
You're dislocated, don't be like that
And you smile when you dive in like you're never coming back
So hold my body, yeah, hold my breath
See your face when I blackout, I'm never coming back
It's minutes after midnight now. The hazy, blurred vision of a smiling house, our beautiful home, strikes me awake violently. I close my eyes, and my mind forms memories on the remaining blackness. I can see the green droplets of his stunning irises, just as clear as if he was only centimeters away from me. But he is not here. He is never coming back. He is never coming back, so I crawl and curve my body trying to ease the pain. Nothing works.
Out of despair, I scream, I hit the edges of my enclosure. I collide with the creamy color of the walls around me. Since I can't stand the things that the paint brings back from the back of my mind, I begin to scratch it, tear it down until it turns crimson red.
My door opens, and an unknown man approaches me, needle in hand. I don't understand what is happening. Fear roots me to the ground. He sticks the hypodermic to my forearm, and I can't resist, can't find the strength to fight back. I'm too scared to move. As the haloperidol kicks in, delusions start fading; I'm losing him all over again. No more home, no more garden, no more us. I sink.
See you on the other side, Alek, my love.
σχίζειν (schizein) φρήν (phrēn)
The use of the selected music as a soundtrack for the story is highly recommended to enhance the reading experience.