I remember how I was always misunderstood by many friends of mine in the past. They could not understand the real me, they thought people with hot tempers are not good as a person. So people like me often got misunderstood. My friends used to think that I'm a rude person or kind of aggressive.
But I was not like that at all, there are other people who are exactly like this and they use excuses for their behavior by saying, “That’s actually who I am.” From my perspective, having a hot temper is not something to be proud of or something that should be fully excused. And if this hot temper behaviour could hurt someone else then steps should be taken against it.
At the same time, I believe that people who has anger issues they are not totally a bad person or anything like that. I'm saying why should we judge someone so easily? No one should be misnderstood and someone who has these issues they need clear guidance to change themselves. I'm not defending the behaviour I'm just clearing things out because I've personal experience.
When I was younger, I had anger issues more than what I have now. Like if someone would taunt me I would get angry very quickly and talk back to them. I did not let go any small issues, this used to happen often when I felt stressed. Most of the time I was misunderstood and got blamed for something I did not do and that would make me frustrated. I think my anger issue came because I was accused for things I did not do and nobody listened to me.
But not all of the time I was right, there was sometimes where I reacted before thinking. But after a while I also felt regret for the things I have said without trying to know the whole thing. I would regret my decisions and always had the thought that if I could rewind the time. Then I would want to take back the words which I have uttered and not repeat the actions. I won't lie, but I won't say that my anger issue is completely gone yet.
Still now, I'm facing problems to control my temper, it's really hard to change but at least I'm improving little by little. I know that it's something I should change but it has become a part of me now and controlling anger is not easy. But I do have the desire to change this issue of mine even if it's not completely possible. I truly to want let it go and I believe if someone wants to change themselves then they can do it. If I can't change it myself then no one else can change it for me.
The problem with hot tempers is that they can become destructive. Like I have lost many friends because the angry words came from my mouth and with some my friendship has already changed. Even though I'm a changed person now they do not want be there for me anymore. The damage in friendships has already been made.
Not only that if someone does the same thing with their family members or with the person they are in relationship with then it could ruin everything. Most of the people are narcissist who has hot temper and they use excuse by saying things like, “I was angry, so I couldn’t control myself.”
I have seen many people who would beat their wives and claim that they were unable to control their anger. This is truly heartbreaking and an extreme activity which I do not support. I have never hit anyone or used abusive words even though I have hot temper. Because I do not lose myself, I know my boundaries.
Anger is a normal human emotion, it should never become a reason to hurt others repeatedly. There are many people who keeps using this excuse of not being able to control anger and they exploit the other person with it. They don't even try to improve they only give excuses without trying to become better, after a time it becomes a harmful habit.
I feel that if we address this issue with both accountability and support. Then people who abuse with the excuse they will not get the chance to harm others. If everone teaches their kid from a young age to handle emotions in healthy ways then these problem could become less. Kids must be taught by school and families, like they should encourage communication with patience. Shouting or behaving aggressively should never be normalized.
Also people like me who has hot temper they need to take responsibility for their actions. Because only when we can accept our mistake and want to take accountability then it can be justified otherwise change cannot happen unless we make an effort to improve. The harsh reality is that it's impossible to change overnight so it's gonna take time, with self-awareness and practice we can change our behaviour. In the end, learning how to control emotions is part of becoming a better person.
The images are created with Gemini and edited with Canva
