Honest. Sometimes doing it is a must. Maybe this is the right time for me to do it ".
It is a very unappealing opening word to be listened to when that beautiful twilight will disappear from the reddish sky.
We both just stared at the vast expanse of the ocean, hoping that time would stop so that this painful conversation would not happen. But Adjie made my daydreams stop.
"Honesty what? Do not tell me it's an angel from heaven and now you have to go back to heaven and leave me here. Well, I'm so sad dong gonna have a friend argue spele again. "

Typical words, sweet remarks and always a funny expression on his calm and mature face were able to sedate me to smile sincerely to him. He, Adjie Saputra. The very unlucky person I have ever met, he is rarely serious when spoken to. I am sometimes overwhelmed with his funny and wicked behavior. He who makes this face always smile, he who always makes this heart calm and he who made me realize this sense present for him. Adjie is a good friend and can also be a brother and even a driver ... hahaha. Depending on your needs, Adjie can always be anything for me.
"Not. That's not what I want to say Ji. But, I want to say if I have not bathed. Satisfied?!!!"
"Tuh kan, pantes aja from the past I pick you up to here a bit not tasty still smells. But thank goodness you are honest to me. Makasi ya, I do not lose my angel. "
"Adjie ... When can you be serious if you talk to me?"
"Wait until high you can ngalahin high I used to. Can? Well lame ah .. definitely can not ya. Since when Faya Adjie can be high. "
Faya Anastasia. That's my name. Yes I was less in terms of body size let alone dibandingin same height Adjie size and skinny.
"I've bought drugs improvement body really. Wait aja later I kalahin your height. "
"Oh, yes? The medicine works that way? "
"Take care. You wait aja later I kalahin your height. "
"How many times have you been drinking?"
"Emm ... just a little."
"Goodness Faya .. always aja ya. If you want to exercise high, do not use drugs so. Later if you over dose how? Continue it to buy emang where? Must be in the online shop you saw yesterday, right? That's no health insurance Fay. It's weird ah. "
This is one of the things that made me realize when this feeling is present, his attention. Adjie kalo diikutin world's most attentive search guy, I guarantee he will win. His adult attitude and how to treat someone called a woman not diraguin again. Adjie appreciates and loves the woman around her. Since he left his father 10 years ago, Adjie is only living with his mother, therefore he always keep and love the only woman he has today.
"Yeah bawel, ah."
"That was what he said to be honest, you messengers want to say that?"
"Yeah serious."
"Duhduhduh .. Faya his Adjie sullen. Come one, smile."
"Not ah, already lazy. Dibecandain mulu deh. "
Kriiinnggg ... Kringgg ...
"Wait a minute, Fay, I'll pick up the phone first."
"He'em."
Without asking who called him to Adjie, I know enough from whom. Yes who else if not from Dila, her boyfriend Adjie. Yes, Adjie already has a boyfriend. It is also what makes me want to lose consciousness when finished translating the flavor. Adjie is very fond of Dila. Even once when they had separated, Adjie patiently waited for Dila and fought Dila to come back with her. Dila always has a chance to have Adjie completely while I am, I will never get a chance to feel how great it feels to be loved.
"Daaarrr !!! The one who is dressed in new gledek has a taste. "
"What the heck, Ji. Elementary children really know. "
"Oh, very cynical."
"All right. Eh .. that's the face why? Asinnya ngalahin seawater it deh. "
"I said it was so salty I ever tasted my face?"
"Your face is diliat aja emang already salty, Adjie. Do not you have to talk, Dila why else? "
"Yee .. why do you know who called that Dila? Emm definitely eavesdoo huh? Ngakuu deh. "
"Adjie, how long have I known you? Without me eavesdropping, I already know it's a phone call from Dila your beloved girlfriend. "
"Emma yes deya Faya the fortune teller who is jealous again."
"Who are the fortune-tellers? and who else is jealous. "
"If anger means jealousy."
"Ji ... you do not want to tell me anything anymore?"
adjie can only be silent. once again turned his face away so as not to be face-to-face with me. sea view and Sky the dark in the afternoon. I and adjie always happy to spend a lot of time only to just sit see dusk it was lost from the Horizon and hear waves waves a little bit about our feet. adjie can always to hide the story, but he will not been able to hide keresahannya always easy seen in the face of calm it. so I can always guess if adjie being sad and he always call me as "forecasters". "adjie ..." "I okay Kok Fay." "Islamic congregation .. I without you requested is always the story of this, it happy and sad. it's not fair if you never want to story at me. friend of what i'll never be there when his sad although just be a listener." "you say the hell is the heck, Fay. you now there is next to me. that means you there for me, as I sad also you always there." "but you are not the way you sad why. you don't want to tell it to me." "Fay, you always know when I feel sad. i'm sure without I story you definitely know what the reason. you're right forecasters surefire." "but forecasters also human right? could just wrong ngeramal and definitely need explanation as well." "I believe you forecasters that never wrong Fay. you always true. Fay, I feel like want to sleep and not a wake-up again Deh." "you say what the hell Islamic congregation. not funny know." "I like the buried, Fay." "you to the grave where the hell? here I dig." "Fay, ever not the hell you ngerasain ignored by chance? vain it have the opportunity but not in accordance with the hope of. sometimes life is not fair Yes?" "not life not fair, but we as living that can't be fair to our lives. we are the determinants of our lives would like what although the director planned. you that make yourself treated unfairly by life." actual adjie true, without she story I always know what reason face calm it can be changed instantly. I always understand him. I did not take long to know intact. he will only be sad when feel sick with the people he loved, precisely very he loved. "Fay." suddenly adjie turned his face and looked at straight to me. eyes really talking in, it is in. he looked at me meaningful as if asked answer immediately. "Yes ..." eyes adjie not as usual, as there is a secret and questions will be delivered through the eyes of it. but what? instead I now ask. what meanings gaze of the Islamic congregation? describe as soon as possible. color Red Sky already lost perfectly, replaced with a small dots light began to appear to add the silence of the night. air the cold, go to the bone coated little meat and skin. that look also getting cold was in the liver. adjie still silent and continue to look at me. regardless around it like a swimmer professional continue to dive into any point in my eyes. "faya not want to say honest again?" "before I already honest right, I have a shower." "I know, actually not that faya want to say. now I don't need to wait faya high used to create can seriously because I know it's going to long really happening. hehe .. faya earlier want to be honest what to adjie? already prepared NIH." face it again with the calm say it. it is the words terserius ever adjie say, although still ngolokin I hell. eyes the rebel charge answer quickly. "faya afraid." "Fay, I will not changed so kind of Forest like the same meat thin you that." "adjie if still ngolok me, I will not want to say." "well Elementary school children really hell. Yes Deh Yes." "okay, I honestly right now. may already the right time." adjie least not turned wajahya of my face. "I like the same you. I love the way you laugh, I like how you smile, I like how you jailin and godain me. the longer the other come. I love the same you. I love with the face of the quiet you, I love with the face of worry you, I love with all the attention and all the way you treat me with a special. the far I fear finally appear. faya apologize same adjie, but I love the same you. I love you without any reason." Lord, what's new only I say? I just fall from the top Cliff. faya, what have you do? what you have just expressed said love to your best friend own and to a man that already has a lover? waves bring me, take me out to the middle lautmu now. "since when Fay?" "I don't know. I own that feeling don't know. maafin me." "sorry for what?" "as is love you." "never word sorry for love, Fay. what sense of this has been there before I decided back with dila?" "has long before that." "then why do you live?" "I never learn what the meaning of a word enough and I decided to feel enough only by being friends and the people that there is always on the side you without special relationship".
My answer made Adjie look away. Looking back at the expanse of sea that unfolds endlessly like what is in the mind of today aji, endless.
"Fay, try to explain what you mean already enough? Not that if we love someone we have to fight for it? like I'm fighting for Dila? "
"Adjie, you were fighting for Dila then what should I fight for someone who did not fight for me but fight for someone not me?"
"I'm getting more and more out of what you're talking about Fay."
"Adjie, sometimes more beautiful it just guesses and feels what it feels like to be loved and loved people like you. I've decided to just simply guess not to have because I'm afraid to be disappointed if in the end you do not choose me and all my special fantasies about us just disappear. On many occasions it's much more fun remembering something that's supposed to happen but we're not making it happen, though we can easily make it happen. "
Adjie again just silence trying to interpret all the words that I spend.
He just stared blankly. I'm confused, why suddenly Adjie as if hoping I used to prevent his relationship with Dila back? What really happened?
"If you find the opportunity to feel genuinely loved and loved by me, do you want to?"
"I do not want Ji."
I answer this answer definitely. Because I'm sure this answer is the most correct for now and tomorrow. But this answer made Adjie wonder.
"Loh, you're actually in love with you what is not Fay? Are you playing with me? "
"Adjie, you are not a monopoly I can play and if lucky to get a chance card from you. I've told you, I've had enough with everything and I'm not making my chance to feel loved and loved you become real. I just hope for it and remember it special. "
"Do not you feel sick seeing me with Dila all this time?"
"Just a statue that does not feel it Ji. But I learned one thing, Let go of something or someone it hurts, but know to survive with it may be more and more painful. "
I really want to cry to say everything. For a long time I watched Adjie's togetherness with Dila, so long I could only stare without having, and for so long I felt this pain myself trying to make peace and remembering Adjie to be the loveliest and now I open the old wound back.
"I also learn to one thing Ji, I learn to let go then the heart becomes calm then I learn to let go and pray better that come."
"So now you expect better than me. That means you do not really love me Fay. "
"Sometimes the woman is better with the person who loves her than with the person she cares about."
"But I love you too Faya, even ... even I love you too."
BYUUURRR !!!
I do not know where the sky that was brightened thousands of stars instantly rain down that night and on that beach. I froze as I listened to the statement Adjie had just said. What did he just say? He loves me too? No-impossible. Then all this time, he does not love Dila? I do not understand.
"What do you mean Ji? Then Dila? "
"Since Dila's departure and I started getting to know you further, I hope you substitute Dila for me Fay. I'm comfortable with you. I always hope time stops there and lets me be with you. You seemed to dig where I buried myself with all my memories and Dila. But over time you bury me back there before I could get up and stand in front of you. Seeing that I resigned Fay, I was silent and finally decided to call Dila to dig it. If I knew you were still able to dig it, I would be happy to keep you Fay. "
"You are impatient waiting for me Ji. Because all you have in mind is Dila's capable, not me. Now it's all happening. You have chosen Dila and I have decided to enough. "
"But Fay, not that easy".
"Ji .. time is always kind. Leave it all to time. "
The rain and the beach were witnesses when the decision had been pronounced it was a sign that the choice had been made and had to be executed. We are the determinants of this life will be fair or not for us. And right now I've felt life is fair because it gives me time to make decisions reveal all honesty about my feelings. Now I am more willing to take it off and more confident to decide enough with him.
Thank you for always being kind.
