Who's that in Johnny's Closet?

Author's Note:
So this morning I woke up with a huge throbbing boner. And I know this sounds normal considering how the human male anatomy usually works in the morning; but still, I assure you, this was no ordinary boner!...

This morning I woke up with an erection that lasted nearly 4 hours!
You see, at first it was all fun and games:

"Oh, you're up too buddy? Crazy dream last night huh?"

And then, it gradually became uncomfortable, then slowly it became painful, and then finally, just plain unbearable!!!

About 2 hours later into the erection, and I was already in full force distress and agony! Straight, I phoned my doctor and yelled at him on the phone:

"Doc! Doc! My Dick is Hard!!!"

And I'm not even kidding, that's exactly what I said XD. He's response:

"Huh? I don't understand. What are you talking about Eche?"

So, I explained to him what had happened considering the huge erection that wasn't going away and after some over the phone consultation, he urged me to rush over to the hospital as soon as possible. And you can bet I got there asap! I mean this was the safety of my meat we were talking about- _{it's not like it was my heart or anything...}

Anyway, after some tests and further diagnosis, it turns out that the whole thing was just an allergic reaction to the pills my therapists had been giving me! Ha, atleast my doctor could now safely cross cancer and/or ruptured blood vessels outta his worry list 😅.

And so, after some proper medication and re-prescription, I was able to go flaccid again!
Ha! Some Sunday morning huh?

_{Lol, I'm beginning to wonder if this all might be a little TMI👀. Oh well!}

Anyway, let's get into this week's weekend-engagement now then shall we?

For this particular week, I have chosen to do a mash up!

I choose:

We're all human and all do stupid things but what things do you think people look stupid doing? Tell us a few of your own or other people's and why you think people look stupid doing them.

And

What is the funniest, strangest, most odd or weird item you have seen in someone else's house. Explain and describe the item, what it does, or what you think it does and why you think it was there.

what things do you think people look stupid doing?

Ha! The question really should be: what things don't you think people look stupid doing! Lol, I find just about every human action funny — at least to a certain degree.

Be it:

• Cramming

• Trying to remember what a person's name is...
  (Guy 1: Uhh... Its Milton isn't it?
  Guy 2: Ahh, nah bruh. It's Jack.
  Guy 3: Oh! Right, right — Mason😅)

---

• Attempting to pronounce a word outside of your native language:
  (Molly: Hey Kerstin, how do you say squirrel in German again?
  Kerstin: Oh, Eichhörnchen
  Molly: (*ಠ_ಠ;) Okay...
  Also Molly: Uh... ITCH CONCUSSION?

---

• Believing the earth is flat.
  (Marcus: I'm telling you Jerry, the earth is one big pancake.
  Jerry: Right, but what's pancake without syrup huh?)

---

• Cum face
  (Trust me, you wouldn't be the same after seeing mine)

And many more! But there's just one thing in particular that people often do, that always never fails to delight, humorize, and stupefy me all at the same time! And that's none other than the — forget shit syndrome (not the real name of the phenomenon though).

You know that thing that happens when someone forgets where they kept their shit and decide to go on and on about who the f took it? or just where the hell they kept it in the first place?; only to find out later, that it was with them — IN THEIR HANDS OR POSSESSION — the WHOLE TIME!

Yup, that's the phenomenon I'm talking about. That shit is crazy hilarious!

Ha! Guilty though, it happened to me once: I was literally holding my phone in my hand when I was looking for it the other day, but still somehow managed to throw a huge fit around the house for 2-3 minutes straight! And alas, by the time I realized where the phone was at the end — it was too late — I was already a dumb crazy mf.

Yeah, it always surprises me how the human mind can get SO blind sided or ignorant to things at times, that a judge could forget where he kept his gavel.

_{That's an idiom by the way :)}

Alright, now for the second prompt!

So, this happened when I went to visit my old buddy — Johnny — at his place a couple years back. It was around 7:30 pm at the time, I think, and I was sleeping over at Johnny's for the night.

Presently, everything went well that night: dinner was good, mom was hot... oh fuck I mean, food was hot! And Johnny and I watched a movie that night before bed. However, things only began truly becoming weird when we went upstairs to Johnny's room.

Personally, I always fancied my friend a weirdo — maybe even a little unstable at times — but regardless, I can assure you that none of these prepared me for what was to come next...

So, there I was setting up my own corner of the room to pass the night while johnny was busy in the shower(not showering, if you know what I mean👀) when I realized I didn't have enough sheets for my bed. So accordingly, I asked johnny whom was still in the shower, if I could get some extra sheets and he ends up saying something like:

Oh yeah for sure bro, just check inside my closet.

And that I did! Straight, I opened the closet door and began searching for the sheets. Not surprisingly, Johnny's closet was messy and it took quite some time to find the sheets - I had to ransack and ransack through SO many piles of clothing.

Argh, the deeper and deeper I got, the more frustrated I became until finally, at large, I felt something - something soft. Immediately, upon touching the foreign object, I pulled my hand out of the piles of clothing and yanked out whatever was buried in there! And good lord, you wouldn't believe what I saw - it was a freaking head!
And not just any head - a fucking human sized doll head!

What in the unfathomable fuck!

I screamed and excessively yelling for johnny to come out of the bathroom immediately.

Anyway, long story short, turns out
johnny was actually housing a full sized sex doll in his room and was mostly just hiding it from his mom. The head, he kept hidden deep inside his closet for any extra curricular activities that might come up at night and the rest of the body he kept hidden under a cloth in the basement downstairs. He only ever used the full thing when his mother was outta town. Lol, I wanna say smart? But goddamn that is all new levels of weird even for me!

For real though, I think that might've actually been the weirdest thing I've ever seen in a person's house.

Anyway, I ended up seeing the full doll (with its head on) the next day and quite surprisingly, it was of pretty good quality considering how he got that particular one for like a thousand buck.

One thing about sex dolls though, they are creepy as hell and feel really cold to touch — almost like a corpse.