Learning from my failure: A Weekend engagement post.

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“Failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of it.”

-Ariana Huffington.

It was in the year 2016 I believe and I was in my final year of highschool. Ah yes, i distinctively remember, at that time, being one of those incorrigible type of students whom were always going hard and hard on trying to pass the SATs. The SAT, for those who may not know by the way, is simply a test of college readiness that most graduating high schoolers take in order to get into college. It stands for Scholastic Aptitude Test.

Yup, that was the goddamn test that I had put my heart and soul into trying to pass.

_{You see the idea behind the SAT is: the higher your score, the better your chance of getting into Harvard lol :)}

My plan was simple: sacrifice my entire social, material, and spiritual life for a whole 6 months in order to pass the Test. Sounds a bit too overboard huh? Well, it's because it was! But yeah, that was just how determined and desperate I was to pass the test. LoL, what a boob.

My full on study prep for the test began around late April. And by that time, I had prepared a fool proof study plan and schedule:

A.) Attend school on weekdays: Stay in school until closing time. Then, once during closing time - go for your after school SAT lessons. After that, go home and continue studying for the SATs. Remember to find some time to prepare for your final year exams. B.) Attend SAT prep classes on weekends. C.) Any opportunity you get, make sure you study for your SATs(you need to get into that top college fool). D.)Reduce sleep time by 3 hrs and use that extra time for studying (you gotta make your mama proud son). E.) Avoid friends, social media(apart from YouTube for SAT Tutorials), family, sometimes lunch 😂, and any other form of distraction from your life for the entire 6 month period!!

Yes sir ri... That was my foolproof plan. A fucking psychopaths plan I can assure you it was but somehow, for some reason... I managed to stick with it.

Graduation came soon and as you will know it, I graduated. Sadly, I missed out on all the fun times I should've had with my classmates and friends before and after the grad. And this was all solely because I was studying for that goddamn exam :)

_{Well, as you may know it, the exams finally came! Yes... the dreadful day of reckoning had finally arrived...}

I must say though, the night before the exam, I didn't sleep. Infact, I spent almost the entire night STUDYING and STUDYING some more, trying my very best to make sure I aced the exam! Unfortunately, that excessive overnight study sesh would go on to be the reason for me getting only 3 hours of sleep that night. So as you can imagine, when arrived for the exam the next day, I was weak and tired as fuck! Ah yes, and from the moment I first saw the question paper on my table, I choked.

Now, let me assure you that i didn't choke because the questions were way too hard, no! Actually, they were quite simple. The real reason for me choking was due to something called extreme overwhelmingness. Oh God, immediately I received the paper, I became anxious, tired, sad, weak(both in mind and body), and dizzy!!! My eyes were very wary, my mouth was dry, my head was spinning and my mind couldn't focus on the exam! To be honest, it was a miracle that I even manged to write my own name in the paper. Oh yes, it was that bad. Then, after a couple hours, the exam was over and I knew I had failed.

About 3-4 weeks later, the results had arrived and as you may know it, i flunked the test:

_{Damn it! 1150??? Seriously??? All that time and money spent for nothing!}

My dreams of going to a top college was shattered. I was truly, TRUlY sad. I mean who wouldn't be? With a score like that I'ld have been lucky if I even got into fucking South Dakota state! Anyway, long story shortened, I became depressed. I barely ate, I lost weight(Ha! that rhymed), and I felt very disappointed in myself.

_{Ah... You know, if it wasn't for the inspiration from my mother, I probably would've ended up being a highschool drop out. She inspired me to try again and so I did. But this time, I did everything differently.}

About a year and a half had passed since the first exam(that was how long my depression lasted) and it was finally time for me to take the makeup exam. This time, I did everything much differently than how I did last time - essentially the opposite: I found the perfect way to balance both my academics and my social, academic, material, and spiritual life together. And let me tell ya now, it was just what I needed to do from the start! Stepping into that exam hall and taking the test was a breeze. Heck, I even found time to pray before I started taking the test and the results:

_{Now I know what you're thinking... No, I didn't get into Harvard but I did learn a lot from the entire experience :)}<

A very impressive score I must say that came without having to put so much dire,unethical, and unnecessary, efforts.

There you have it, a lesson well learnt from a hard experience. So I guess my advice now, to the future test takers out there, would be not to try too hard. Trust me, when you try to force things... You'll only end up with forced, incomplete, and undesirable results.

The best thing to do when trying to study for the SAT, and any exam for that matter would be to:

1. Set a reasonable study plan.

2. Make sure you avoid over studying: the moment you realize your mind and body can't take it any longer – stop and just relax.

3. Have fun both during study and outside. Don't let your exams stop you from enjoying your life.

4. Even when you fail, don't get sad or mad. It's only an exam... It doesn't and will never define who and what you are in this life. Nope, that's what your attitude and habits are for. So, don't be like me who managed to let a common Test depress him.

5. Don't be afraid to try again. There's this quote that goes like this: "Your dreams don't have an expiry date".

Oh and some final words and advice to everyone out there: Remember to count your failures every step of the way, for they will show you just how close you are getting to your success.

Thanks for reading and keep exploring!