Competition has always existed at home, in schools, in sports, in the workplace, and even among friends. Competition is actually very common among friends. While some people might rise and shine under pressure, others might crumble under the pressure. And to be sincere, competition is actually good. Because right from when one was little, they always taught us competition. Not so we could hate our peers, but so we could encourage each other to do better in whatever we are doing.
I remember when I was in secondary school. Me and my group of friends and I didn't really do it like a competition, but you could see that it was like a competition. And people would always say we were doing competitions with ourselves, we were competing with ourselves whenever they looked from the outside at our friendship.
I can remember that the person who actually started the cleanliness competition in my friend's circle at that time was Priscilla. She would always wake up early, carry her clothes to the laundry, and wash her clothes. She never repeats her clothes. She takes time to wash and she was just so neat. And then, just like that, all of us picked it up and we started doing the same thing. And we started even trying to be better. It was also the same thing we did in education. We would always compare our scores, check what we got from the mistakes we made. It was like a friendly competition, and it made us better at the things we did. So, instead of feeling hatred and jealousy towards each other, we challenged each other in a good way. Now, that is what I call a healthy competition because it doesn't create chaos or jealousy or envy or hate. But instead, it inspires and it builds the relationship and it even sharpens focus.
Some people don't know how to stay healthy, and they end up feeling trapped. For instance, I see and even know many people who have a friend group, and they always seem to be competing with each other, especially when it comes to money and status. You see them when they get together, they always brag, they always try to oppress each other, and even envy each other and talk behind their backs. And instead of it now being a healthy competition of progress, gradually they lose focus and start trying to bring each other down instead of finding a way to go higher.
And a toxic competition is very dangerous. You see, when we start feeling anxious or drained, when we want to start bringing others down, or when winning becomes more important than learning, then you just know it's no longer healthy, and you need to refocus yourself, and if possible, even separate yourself from those kinds of people. Because you might not know, you might not realize that this is not a healthy competition again. So you have to look out for these things.
For one to maintain healthy conversations, the number one thing you need is to know that it is not just about winning, but about growth.
You need to be self-aware and know your limits. And you need to accept that someone else winning doesn't mean you are losing. In fact, just keep in mind that although it might seem like a competition, it's not actually a competition. It's just motivation. And everyone is running a race with themselves and no one else.
Competition is a good thing because, when maintained at a healthy rate, it builds confidence, gives inspiration, and nurtures growth. But if it gets toxic, it breaks relationships, and even worse. Let's just say it's like fire. You could use fire to warm your house and cook, but if you don't use it well, you just end up burning down your house.
