My name is Cassady, and this is my story.
I was raised like a "normal" child by 2 "normal" parents with 2 "normal" siblings. We had a "normal" home in the middle of a suburban community. We had the kind of "normal" fights you would expect people from a "normal" home to have.
I had my little sister Jenny who never seemed to understand boundaries and my older brother, Chad, who seemed to over understand boundaries. Pretty typical, if you ask me.
We grew up to be somewhat normal adults too. Chad in his gait and well, Chad-ness, went up the work ladder rather quickly. He gained favours here and there and became the director of a multi-national company at 30. While Jenny took her clinginess to the modelling industry where she thrives in her little big circle.
And me? Well, I'm doing my own thing. I work from home as a techie. I program software and do all that work nobody notices is a big deal but is actually back-breaking work.
We're all doing alright, so I guess you know by now that this story has nothing to do with the perfections of my family. It has to do with the imperfections we hide beneath our perfect family.
Take Chad for instance. He's at the top of his game, running the affairs of a company that could one day decide to let him go for a minor mishap. He's too far gone to have any slip-ups. He lives and breathes for this company so deeply that he can't find the time to handle his home.
His wife Linda lives the "perfect" life. She takes pills to suppress her depression and only speaks when she is spoken to. She thrives off peace and could never be in the middle of a conflict no matter how deeply she's hurt.
Their home is a joke. They live peacefully but they have no joy. There's no love, simply duty. The last time I mentioned this to Chad, he said to me, "it is not your place to discuss this as such matters do not concern you".
I took the queue. It really was not my place even when I walked past our beloved Linda getting a little too hands-on with the help when I stopped by unannounced.
Then there's my little rascal of a sister, Jenny. She's a beauty but a hopeless romantic. She's smart and full of so much confidence in her craft but the matters of love elude her so she falls for the next sweet word she hears and takes their word as gospel rather than listen to her true instincts telling her to run.
Her last man left her with an empty bank account. She's so beautiful she makes a man's knees grow tender but her resolve is so weak that it took the loss of all she had to get her back to her senses.
Finally, there's me. Sitting by the window of a cathedral on the brink of marrying a man I don't love or care for just to get my mind off the man I truly want.
Barely 6 months we had been together but our love had been electric. He was everything I could have ever wanted but I just wasn't the object of his true desire so I took the pieces of what was left of my heart to the next man and when he mentioned marriage, I shamelessly said "yes".
I couldn't have the man I wanted because he wanted someone else. I might as well spend the rest of my life in the arms of a man I will never want. I'll play the card life has dealt me and I'll play it with a smile as I walk down this aisle.
He's a good man. Even though I will never find happiness in his arms, I know he will never want someone as much as he wants me, and isn't that what truly matters? Being the sole subject of the desire of a man?
I'll take this as this is the perfection my family thrives to achieve.
Image by Engin Akyurt on Pexels
Thanks for reading
@kmama