When I saw that our next topic for DITO would be Nostalgia, I knew this was going to take me on a journey as I have been feeling quite a bit of this lately. However, I wouldn't say in a positive way. I've always heard that the Holidays can do that but now I understand the 'why' behind those words.
In my mind, I thought that nostalgia should provoke a positive feeling but as I journeyed further into this word and it's meaning, I realized that it carries with it so much more and is such a powerful and interesting topic to explore.
As it relates so similarly with melancholy and the word melancholy is heard as 'melody' in my mind, I thought, "You know, nostalgia and melancholy behave so much like familiar melodies." And just like old melodies that we hear, they can provoke either a happy or sad feeling and unearth memories that we had perhaps tucked away from our daily lives. Pretty powerful stuff!
At the heart of nostalgia, is feeling. Just like an old song that you hear, it is an encapsulated memory - a time capsule the mind and heart has carefully stored away. However, unlike just 'feeling', nostalgia stores away sight, smell, texture in its little time capsule of life.
I thought it was incredibly interesting how important and powerful nostalgia has played in the human condition and history.
It has played a major role, not only the ancient Greek civilization, but in the 1600's, nostalgia cropped up again as a major affliction worthy of study and medical intervention.
Johannes Hofer, a Swiss medical student, noticed that his patients living far from home seemed to have some significant physical complaints. The range in severity was diverse, but for those that became obsessed with their longing to return home, the physical sickness that occurred was more significant and in some cases even fatal.
Hofer would later give this phenomenon a name, "nostalgia" by combining the Greek words nostos (homecoming) and alga (pain) along with a list of symptoms:
In fact, it wasn't until the 19th century that the 'disease' Hofer named nostalgia was taken off the medical diagnosis list. Up until this point, doctors thought nostalgia was due to a 'nostalgia bone' and treated with leeches to try and suck the melancholy out of a person!
This was so endearing to me. The common thread we all hold in experiencing nostalgia. Some of these descriptions were so deep and powerful.
Nostimon—Greek
The ancient Greek word nostimon is an etymological ancestor of nostalgia. It was first used in Homer’s Odyssey to reflect when Odysseus, long estranged from Troy, longs for his “day of return”—or nostimon emar.
Saudade—Portuguese and Galician
The term saudade has been called “the untranslatable word everyone sings about” by Portuguese writer Manuel de Melo. Saudade can be read as feeling love and loneliness with equal power simultaneously; a supercharged way to miss and desire someone or something at the same time. A fixture of art, music, and literature in Brazil, Portugal, and beyond, the word is the ultimate paradox: “a pleasure you suffer, an ailment you enjoy.” It sits at that bittersweet border between happiness and pain that is often crossed while reflecting on the past.
Sehnsucht—German
Like saudade, German’s sehnsucht conveys the complexity of yearning, but it takes the sentiment a little further. Sehnsucht suggests that the experience of ardent longing is actually more pleasurable than that desire being fulfilled.
Sehnsucht is all the more inarticulable for its application to fictional memories—the inexplicable sense that we miss something we rationally know we could not possibly actually experienced.
Dor—Romanian
Derived from the Latin dolus, which means “to ache,” the Romanian word dor refers to a visceral pain suffered when separated from your home.
Toska—Russian
Russian-American author Vladimir Nabokov defines toska as a “sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause.” At its root, the feeling could be related to a desire, regret, or simply ennui, but part of its charm is its vagueness—it’s a melancholia about nothing in particular.
Mono no aware—Japanese
Classical Japanese philosophy celebrates the impermanence of the world—a mindset that is meant to incentivize seizing the moment rather than our short lives being a cause of despair. The phrase mono no aware refers to the “pathos” (aware) of “things” (mono), meaning being in tune with the ineluctable transience of the world.
Mono no aware is commonly evoked in relation to Japan’s traditional love of cherry blossoms, which are valued for their ephemerality—they considered so beautiful partly because they are so fleeting. In this way, it almost reflects the ability to be nostalgic while in the present—to long for things that will soon be in the past, but while they’re still here.
Hiraeth - Welsh
Homesickness for a place you can never return to, a place which maybe never was, the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past.
By A. C. Michael - The Guardian [2] / [3]Originally published in The Illustrated London News, January 9, 1915., PD-US Source
In December 1914, an amazing outbreak of peace spontaneously occurred between warring enemies in World War I for 24 to 36 hours (From Christmas Even until the day after Christmas). Some have reported that this may have even began as early as December 11th and continued sporadically until New Year's Day. Along the 500 mile of enemy lines, nearly 100,000 troops participated in a truce - all because of a shared sense of nostalgia for the spirit of Christmas. The soldiers from both sides participated in lighting Christmas trees with candles, shaking hands, sharing smokes, food and wine and singing with one another and playing a game of soccer. They even participated in burying their respective dead and paying homage to them.
As I began to write this piece and think of nostalgic moments in my own personal life, I was reminded of a particular time in my life with a particular moment that stood out on so many different levels and taught me so much about our tapestry of life and our stories - how they play into the meaning we hold dear in our continued growth and journey. And also just how we each teach each other through our separate stories and journeys. I have often found great strength and wisdom in those around me.
I had a very special relationship with my grandfather on the Greek side of my family. My memories of him would be my first memories and by far the most detailed. I simply loved him very much. His always smiled when he was happy and they had a special twinkle in them. We often went for walks together when I was just one years old. A very special occasion requiring us to dress up. I have a very vivid memory of us sitting on a park bench enjoying the people going by when he suddenly pulled out of his pocket a small bag of M&M's. Candy was off limits so this was indeed a special moment - a secret moment just between Grandpa and me. "Shhh he said, don't tell your mother about the Emma Emmas." he said. For YEARS, I continued calling them Emma Emmas which pretty much gave our little secret away. Only Grandpa with his deep Greek accent would have taught me to say M&M's in this unique way.
When I was two and half, Grandpa went back to his home country of Cyprus after coming to America when he was 17 years old. He had several restaurants in NYC and Virginia Beach and loved this country so much. However, returning to Cyprus one day was a dream of his - to retire on the beaches that he grew up on as a child.
He accomplished all that and then at the age of 64, (when I was 4), he suddenly died of a heart attach while with his family, happy at his beloved beach.
Many family members over the years have said that his dying at that particular time was a blessing because it would have surely broke his heart if he experienced the invasion that would happen only a few years later. His family and dreams became part of the occupation by Turkey...his beach and his father's church, family fruit trees and land. And even Grandpa's burial site laid on the occupation side of the island.
When I got married, my husband and I decided to go to Cyprus to retrace Grandpa's steps and stories.
It was a beautiful yet heart-wrenching experience. It was all-consuming seeing and listening to the stories of what Cyprus used to be like and recalling memories of 'before'. There was a foreboding feeling always - a sadness that lingered closely to the surface of every smile, every laugh, every gesture...and a deep breath to anchor a painful memory of how things used to be.
I wanted to see my grandfather's land and his burial site but it was determined to be too dangerous and that his grave site was now desecrated and destroyed. The family could only bring me and my husband to the refugee camp where Grandpa's close cousin was now living. He was the last person my grandfather saw from the dock before he swam out to the boat taking him on his journey to America by way of Ellis Island.
This cinder block dwelling, now a home within the confines of a refugee camp, contain my family's history. The walls filled with family photographs that were aged and cracked, intricate artwork, momentos from Great Grandpa's church (he was a priest).
My grandfather's cousin, Gregorios, was now 90 years old with a well-preserved structure and posture, acute mind and that twinkle in his eye just like Grandpa had. I couldn't hold as much of the moment as I wanted to - so much was there with me in that moment that my head swirled around in both happy and sad emotion and of past and present.
As a special gift to us, Gregorios, wanted to sing to us, in his ancient Greek language from before the Bisantine period. A language that has all but disappeared. He explained to us that in his youth, his voice was that of an angel and people would come from near and far to hear his voice and then he apologized that now his angelic voice is 90 years old and doesn't hold up under the strain.
Sitting in this very small room with every inch of wall covered with old photographs and whatever meaningful possessions my family could carry with them, I was overwhelmed with its feeling and history.
Gregorios began singing with his aged vocal chords as I witnessed his body language playing out his memories from long ago. I was literally shaking from the amount of emotion and feeling emanating in that room - My grandfather, I was sure, was there with us adding to the love and nostalgia. And even though Gregorios' voice steadily cracked and skipped through his words, he sung on with his heart. Gregorios began to cry as well at one point, longing for that youthful voice to finish his song. He would occasionally tap on his vocal chords in frustration trying to wake them up. As I sat crying in an over-whelmed state of my heart bursting, Gregorios stopped for a moment and said, "We cry often, that is how I know you as family."
The remainder of our time with other members of the family were not so heavy. The family loved sharing the art of olive making, family traditions and photographs. Yet still...there was a constant reminder, a neutral zone where a city once existed, left like an ancient relic...untouched, empty, soulless...colorless like a black and white photo framed by guns and barbed wire.
And every time my family brought up America, it was as if they were speaking of some mythical land. Their faces lit up with the dream now living inside them as well. I wished that such a place existed. I didn't have the heart to tell them that their idea of America wasn't accurate. That such a dream of freedom, of hope fell apart and was quite possibly seized itself. But like them, I wanted to hold onto that dream and hope.
Nostalgia truly is the glue of humanity - through our traditions, cultures and memories. We all share in this experience of life and in a lot of ways humanity is inter-twined with one another through our past and our stories. Life is a perpetual experience of past, present and future all rolled up into one, therefore we travel through each age and memory together.
We look back with nostalgia to remind ourselves of where we've been - of our mistakes and triumphs, of love and sadness, of our traditions and simple yet important moments. Nostalgia helps in preserving our future - so that we remember who we are and where we are going. It reminds us of our 'human-ness'.
Sources:
https://qz.com/1108120/nostalgias-unexpected-etymology-explains-why-it-can-feel-so-painful/
https://pixabay.com/en/hills-landscape-mist-smoke-forest-889131/
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