I am so sorry for your loss @blackavalon
This is so sad to hear, if only death could be sued and charged guilty for making us bear such a burden as this and making us go through pains, I would have gladly taken the seat as a judge and send it to a forever land of no return for your sake.

Please remember her the way you feel and choose to remember her as, I am sure she loves the same, so pls do not feel guilty for long, and also this is a reminder not to hold back your love, nobody knows what tomorrow will bring.
wish I can hug you, but all the same, I am sending you hugs, love, light💡, and strength to go through this season❤
Mami is beautiful