If someone had asked me a while back what I thought about the word “bitch,” I probably would not have had anything deeper to say rather than describing it as a bad word based on my feelings and cultural inclination. I mean that, aside from the fact that it’s considered an insult, in my region, terms like that are largely frowned upon, so children are taught not to use them in their everyday vocabulary without further explanations.
Thankfully, my adult interest in reading a lot more, learning and unlearning things has made me understand that the negativity tied to the word “bitch” is beyond cultural. Through my interactions and observations of people, I’ve been able to figure out why I shouldn’t entertain being called one.
Firstly, I notice that the word “bitch” is used generally by everyone. Women mostly use it in a jokey kind of way between themselves. However, before women even became too comfortable with using the word and not caring about its connotation, men always used it with no good intent.
For example, I’ve been around men who casually refer to women as bitches and when I try to probe, I painfully realize how gendered this insult is. They understand the emotional impact the word has on women, so they weaponize it to demean and rage-bait them over and again.
The word “bitch” is also often used to refer to bold women who are loud about their lives, even when it doesn’t fit into society’s standards. When men figure that they can’t have their way in a negotiation, they once again weaponize the word as a form of punishment for not being subservient and fully in touch with their feminine side, which on its own perpetuates sexism.
Even worse, men are called bitches by other men to imply weakness, and this can be traced to the idea that femininity is not a desirable feature for a man, hence the pushback on effeminacy.
Thinking about it more deeply, the dictionary meaning of “bitch” may not sound as harsh as it’s been described in this post, but everyday interactions with men who use the word are proof that it functions as a direct attack on personhood. On women.
As somebody who respects others and usually has no reason to use denigrating words on them, I have chosen to consider the word exactly for what it is: Discriminatory.
Interestingly, I do not crash out over a man calling me a bitch because I have conquered shame, especially as a woman who grew up in a largely sexist environment.
However, my clear boundaries on not being called one, whether by a friend or acquaintance, still stands. That’s because I believe everyone accepts what they think they deserve. The right to call the shot is in our courts. This is mine, and I do not conform to being called a bitch for any reason. I probably never will.
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