This year has been just the kind I would refer to as all good, all destabilizing. I’ve experienced so many high, vibrational moments that made me truly happy enough to forget the unpredictable nature of life. At the same time, I’ve found myself grieving over the difficult feelings I’ve had to process, things I’ve lost, or failed to achieve despite being closer to the finish line. And quite frankly, I think the low moments have affected me enough to lead to mediocrity.
As someone who expects hard times without clinging to the idea of a saviour other than myself, I can tell that it’s not been an easy journey. I’ve been human enough to sometimes forget all the good times I’ve had and just let myself be swayed by the terrible seasons.
For months, I’ve had to force myself to manage the challenging parts of my life while still showing up for the things that matter. But as expected, juggling everything became impossible, and my brain decided to settle more for what was convenient: mediocrity.
From personal development to work, my relationships, and my routines, everything has experienced a crack. I think that’s the problem sometimes with thinking we’re strong enough to recover quickly from mental and physical stress, as well as emotional trauma. We underestimate how much these experiences can take out of us. But the past few months have taught me that not every season goes away quickly. Some take time, while many break us completely before we find our footing again.
This morning, I paused to listen to a video from a content creator speaking on the need to assess our efforts for the year so far. I sat with myself and realized that though I’ve had many worse days, I’ve not been very resilient in taking my life back.
I also recalled that I’d come across some people who turned their pain into joy, those whose hardships served as a form of motivation to create a life that is far from being broken by just anything. And I thought, maybe I can do it too. After all, no one has died from trying.
Now, this isn’t to dismiss my grief or whatever emotional state I’ve been in, but to ensure that I avoid a mediocre life caused by my inability to pick myself back up. It’s about rebuking that defeatist mindset and just TRYING to get things done, regardless. It's about training my mind to be strong again, and utilizing whatever coping mechanisms that may have worked in the past instead of simply letting myself be constantly defeated by life itself.
I understand that this won’t be the easiest thing to do. It could take months to achieve, but I know that it’s possible, and I’m willing to fight against the mediocrity hovering around me, especially the kind that comes when sadness seems to be taking too much of the years ahead of me.
Realization has been my first step. Now, I’m committed to putting up a fight against whatever circumstance hindering my growth rather than let sadness envelop me into nothingness.