Just like many other things, stubbornness is often demonized to seem like a character flaw or a behavior that no single human should possess. I also find it interesting that a lot of individuals who have a problem with those who are stubborn are usually older people and those in higher positions of power.
Genuinely, I do think they may have valid reasons to frown at such a character, but I also believe there are times when stubbornness is important to an individual, just like anything else.
Firstly, I don’t think it makes sense that anybody supports the kind of stubbornness that translates into breaking laws, not caring about the things that matter the most, and refusing to change one’s mind when offered a good piece of advice that may help change the outcome of personal situations.
In fact, I’m not a fan of stubborn people when it comes to this aspect because I have had experiences with individuals like that, and I know how difficult it could be dealing with them. I’m talking about people who refuse to take accountability for their actions and those whose stubbornness affects the next person directly or indirectly.
But then, there is context to everything. The part where stubbornness is utilized to change one’s life and resist harmful systems is the kind that should be encouraged because we all need a bit of it at every stage of our lives.
For example, I grew up seeing a lot of families romanticize girls performing servitude to men simply because they were men. Nobody questioned why this was so or how it was okay for men to be valued more than women. I saw the disconnect and lack of self-preservation this system encouraged, and I decided to change things for myself.
It wasn’t easy, so it took stubbornness for me to resist doing things like respecting a man who doesn’t make it a priority to respect older women, serving them meals when they do absolutely nothing, and also feeling fear over whatever authority they possess.
Another example stems from older people expecting the younger ones to be docile. In our schools, religious places of worship, and even in our homes, we are taught to follow rules rather than question why they exist. We are expected to turn the other cheek when we’re wronged instead of speaking up, and also never question or reject the decisions of our parents and guardians over our own lives.
Looking back at all these, which are still prevalent in society, the only way I was able to break free was to become stubborn. As much as people may see this as a rebellious approach, it has helped me build strong self-esteem.
My family now sees me as somebody who is capable of holding independent thoughts and making decisions for herself. My stubbornness has also helped me speak up in many situations where people are scared to, and I’ve been able to exercise my rights in rooms where it mattered.
However, it is very important that people know when to stop being stubborn, considering that not every situation requires us to be, and this is where a lot of people miss it. They are so blinded by their ability to do whatever they like, without thinking about the aftermath, and this only makes things worse.
For me, I can barely remember a time when my stubbornness led to anything drastic. It has shaped my life positively, as I have more agency over the situations around me, but those who choose to be stubborn the wrong way often sit with regrets for a long time, probably the rest of their lives.
In conclusion, it’s important to apply wisdom in everything that we do. If you’re being stubborn, do it the right way. Be stubborn about your goals, the way you want to be perceived, and the things you don’t want to entertain in your life. But never get to the point where your stubbornness overrides your sense of self and ability to draw the line and take helpful advice when necessary.