Hello @didiee, welcome to The Ink Well.

You touched on a couple of important subjects in your story, we get some idea about the characters, and you presented a nice conflict. However, we are left with no resolution. Every story should have some sort of a resolution to the conflict it introduces.

Another point is the punctuation, using them makes it much easier and pleasant to read.

That said, I liked your writing and really hope to read more from you in The Ink Well. 🙂