Hey everyone! Nite morning 👋 How are you doing? I’m here
This comes from those weird days when the power goes out, time starts feeling kind of off, and you end up creating not because everything is ready, but because you need to. Tbh, that’s exactly how these days have been for me. No electricity, no clear routine, but still a lot of motivation to keep practicing, trying new things, and not losing that creative flow. So between blackouts, pastel chalks, charcoal, and a bunch of ideas floating around, this piece came out. It’s not “finished” in the classic sense, but more like an honest record of the process, the attempts, the mistakes, and that constant struggle between wanting to control everything and letting chaos have a voice too
These days without electricity have kind of forced me, without meaning to, to change the way I work. Normally I rely a lot on digital stuff, having references open, music playing, constant light, all of that. But when none of that is there, you’re pushed back to the basics. Paper, pastel chalks, charcoal, a bit of soft charcoal, and that’s it.
The sound of charcoal on paper, the dust from the chalks, stained hands everywhere. It feels more physical, more direct. Btw, I think that’s exactly why these sketches feel different, more raw. There isn’t much time to overthink if something is “right” or “wrong”, you just do it before the little bit of light coming through the window is gone.
Oil pastels ended up being the perfect excuse to keep practicing while there’s no electricity. And even though it’s “pastel,” the process stayed very loose and intuitive. I didn’t use charcoal at the beginning at all, only at the very end, just to push a few details and add contrast. Most of it was built directly with oil pastels, layering, smudging with my fingers, and letting the marks stay as they came out. It’s not a clean or academic technique at all, it’s more about feeling it out. And yeah, that’s harder than it sounds, because I’m so used to polishing everything, correcting, carving the image until it looks “nice.”
I wanted it to feel more chaotic, messier, less “correct.” But my hand automatically goes for symmetry, balance, trying to “fix” things. And that’s where the inner fight starts. Because one part of me wants to let the drawing break a bit, get dirty, feel uncomfortable. And the other part just wants to save it, make it readable, make it make sense. Lol, I guess that says a lot about how I work too.
This exercise, more than a final result, is a conscious practice. I’m planning something bigger, something riskier, and this feels like a warm-up. Like giving myself permission to fail. To see how far I can push the chaos without feeling like everything is slipping out of my hands. And yeah, it’s not easy. Sometimes the fear isn’t that it’ll look bad, but that it won’t be understood, that no one will read it the way I feel it.
The photos I show are exactly how the process unfolded. There are no poses or "perfect" moments. They are honest records of how the image grows. I’m really into that contrast between the darkness of the charcoal and those colors that show up almost by accident. Like something is trying to come out, even if it doesn’t have permission yet. And I think that connects a lot with the stage I’m in right now: experimenting, trying things out, without having all the answers.
Another important thing about this process is time. Without electricity, time feels different. No clocks ticking, no notifications, no outside pressure. You just work until the natural light’s gone, and that’s it. It kinda forces you to be more intuitive, to trust the moment more. Sometimes a drawing ends up halfway done, and that’s totally fine. Honestly, I think learning to leave things unfinished is part of letting go of control. Not everything has to be perfectly wrapped up. Sometimes the value is in the attempt, not the final result.
I'm not looking for this work to be "pretty" or "pleasant." I want it to be honest. I want it to show that there is a search, that there are doubts, that there is resistance. And even so, I keep going. I keep drawing, I keep trying, I keep getting my hands dirty. BTW, that's enough for me.
So this thing I’m sharing isn’t just a drawing made with oil pastels and charcoal during a blackout. It’s part of a bigger process. A search that’s still going on. It’s practice, it’s study, it’s mistakes, it’s persistence. And it’s also an invite to see art from a more human, closer place. A place where not everything is figured out, where chaos has room too, and where creating doesn’t depend on having everything, but just on wanting to do it anyway.
Oh, and one more thing before I wrap up...
A while ago I was looking for this little shark you see down here 🦈. It’s really special to me. I won it a long time ago here, n it was done by a person many years ago but also I consider a GREAT GREAT GREAT FRIEND now n who does amazing work , very talented🤗.
I thought I had lost it , I was very sad… but noooo! I got it back! Yes ! He found n sent it to me again, and I’m so happy to have it with me once more.
So from now on, this shark will be keeping me company 💙
Now yes! See you next time.
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