They told us we had to figure it out early.
Figure out your course in JAMB. Figure out your career in 100 level. Figure out your 5-year plan before 25.
Figure out marriage. Figure out kids. Figure out how to buy land before your mates "start popping" on IG.
But nobody told us that "figuring it out" is more than what it seems to be, more like guessing.
Guessing. Re-guessing. Crying awake all night. Then washing your face and guessing again.
On paper, I look like I’m moving.
I went to school. I have a degree. I run Confetti body mists and oils. I post content. I pray. I make to-do lists.
People see the posts and think "she’s got it".
But in my head? It’s noise.
Last month my auntie called me and said "so what’s the plan now? Time is going".
I laughed and said "God dey".
Inside I was screaming: I don’t know aunty. I really don’t.
I don’t know if I should pour everything into my business or go and look for a 9-5 for "stability".
I don’t know if I should move to Lagos or stay here where rent won’t kill me but opportunities feel slow.
I don’t know if what I’m building today will even make sense next year.
And Instagram is not helping.
Every scroll there’s a new CEO. A new landlord. A new "I made 6 figures in 30 days" thread.
You start to feel like you missed the bus. Like if you don’t have everything sorted by now, you’ve failed.
I almost believed it.
Until I remembered my grandma.
She didn’t start selling akara until she was in her 40s.
Nobody asked her for a 5-year plan. Life just happened, and yeah she figured herself out along the way. And she ate. And she fed people.
My uncle got his first real job at 35 after 3 failed attempts at other things.
Today he’s the one paying school fees for half the family.
Maybe "figuring it out" isn’t a finish line you cross at a certain age.
Maybe it’s just waking up the next morning and choosing to try again, even when you’re confused and don't know which way to go about it.
I’m learning to be okay with the middle.
Building and doubting at the same time.
Being grateful and still wanting more.
Working hard and still feeling lost on some random Tuesday.
Rushing didn’t make me wise. It just made me anxious and tired.
So I’m trying something new.
This year my plan is simple:
Show up. Learn one thing every month. Save small small. Pray.
And stop comparing my rough draft to someone else’s final copy.
If you’re also tired of people asking "so what’s next for you?" and you just smile because you genuinely don’t know…
You’re not behind. You’re not failing.
You’re just in the messy part that nobody posts about.
We’re all winging it. Some people just have better PR.
So talk to me, no judgment 👇
What’s one thing you thought you’d have sorted by now, but you actually don’t?
And what’s one small thing you have figured out that you’re proud of?
Let’s gist.
Thanks for reading.. image is Ai generated.
