Our egos often get in the way … I know that mine does.
There's a humility in accepting constructive criticism and not being offended, without asking why me, for example, or comparing ourselves with others.
Mother Teresa refers to an unhelpful curiosity, which is and an impediment to humility -- since it might fall under three spiritual practices she mentions:
To speak as little as possible of one's self
To mind one's own business.
Not to want to manage other people's affairs.
It is a bulgar, petty curiosity that leads to gossip, doubt or negativity — not the holy, grand, awe-inspired type that is worth cultivating.
As post TS Eliot says, humility is endless… So, I’m saying this to myself as much as anyone else: it’s good practice to give others the benefit of the doubt & not presume ill will/condemn them.
Instead of pouncing to say something is a bad choice of words, for example, I think it more useful to stay with it & reflect further on what truth another might be getting at in their provocative phrasing.
This, of course, requires setting our ego or sense of right/ knowing aside.
Context is everything & I find that we can want to understand or want to misunderstand; just as making room to hear another vs only hearing ourself makes a difference. 🙏🏼
By (free) association, I think of these subtle words by St Augustine —as true of people as it is of life's graces:
Step back, that you may be approached.
Personally, I have no axe to grind with religion or the religious, and in her advice to avoid curiosity I see an echo of this wise prayer:
Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference
And, returning to Mother Theresa, here are practices she recommends to becoming more humble:
Have a peaceful day & please forgive me for any careless words or behavior on my part 🙏🏼✨