I've always had some sort of depression that I was able to deal with until my last divorce when my wife cleaned me out and took my boys away and then it turned into clinical depression when mixed with my pain issues.

I know depression from personal experience. I was diagnosed with dysthymia as a child. Dysthymia is a chronic form of depression. I had it for many years. I do not even remember how I got out of it. Probably by falling in love with one of my classmates in the middle school. Or at least I think that this love is contributed to it at some level. Even if it was unrequited (one-sided) love. Later I discovered the love of animals. Mainly birds.

In addition to children, do you have animals?
Probably they would help you.

I do not know what you are going through exactly. I am just trying to help based on my own personal experiences.