I do not understand. Why do people think love is beautiful only in the beginning? That love is painful? And I do not feel what they say. I did not feel pain even though he never felt what I felt, even I did not think he knew I was there.
As usual, I always watch her having fun with her imagination in silence. Her eyes were wondering anywhere, I do not know. Her beautiful black hair waved in the breeze coming through the window in front of her. It seems God is smiling when creating her. Then she finished her routine activities, making me feel lost. Oh dear...
If I am alone as I am now, I am always reminded of her behavior that makes me fall in love. The way she laughs, her passion for daydreaming, reading, and listening to love songs which become my favorite. I love all about her, trully madly deeply.
It was already late, even the teacher had come and said 'good morning' to open that day class. But she did not come yet. Of course I was very worried about her, is she okay?
My question was answered with her arrival in the next day. I was surprised when she entered the classroom in tears. Really I can not bear to see her so sad, with eyes tearfully and her sad crying really broke my heart.
What is happening? What is wrong? Has anyone hurt you? A lot of questions came to mind. Want me to come over and say 'Do not worry, do not be sad, I am here' or just grabbed her and wiped her tears. Do not cry anymore, love.
Then came the sound of an incoming call on her cell phone. Instantly she stopped crying and picked up the call.
"What else, Ron?" Her husky voice sounded sour.
"......"
"But you've disappointed me Ron, you-"
"......"
"I'm sorry this time."
"......"
"Yeah, love you too."
And from that conversation I knew that she already had someone who could be called her 'lover'. I realized that I could not possibly be with her. There's no way she can recognize me as a person who deserves to be loved. Impossible. Because I'm not like other people. I am weird, I am not perfect. I should not love her, yet this feeling was there. Ah, God, what should I do ?.
And in the end I can accept that I can only watch her from here, with the fixed stance that love is not painful.
In this dust-covered seat, I smile. I am happy though I love her silence. My love is eternal, always. And I am glad of that she is here alwyas here in my heart.
The end
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