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There are a lot of words that can be used to describe me when it comes to superhero movies

Passionate, knowledgeable, obsessed, in love

I've always loved anything superhero related ever since I was a kid.
from Superman to Spiderman to X-Men and Ben 10.

I remember coming home from school everyday, turning on the TV to watch my shows and Popping a chilled pack of Capri-sun... ✨Bliss✨.

I sincerely doubt there's any question you can ask me about Marvel or DC that I won't be able to answer. My brain is a fountain of superhero knowledge.

And yes, I know, it's supposed to be a fountain of school knowledge,
but school knowledge is boring and superhero knowledge gave us the Avengers movies.
I think it's pretty obvious which is more important.

Anyhoo, I love superheroes, and for as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to have superpowers, mostly for selfish reasons but who cares.

When Ben 10 first came out, I was confident that the watch existed and I prayed to God to let it crash in my house.

When I first watched green lantern, I recited the oath from morning to night in hopes that I would be chosen and given a ring.

And when I watched Avatar the last Airbender, I was already constructing a glider and planning to jump off a building (yes, I know. I was a dumbass).

To me, superheroes were the epitome of greatness, I loved everything about them, I wanted to be them...

Well, except for one little thing–

WEAKNESSES.

For some unfathomable reason, some superheroes had the stupidest weaknesses ever.

I'd like to imagine the writers were either high, drunk or possessed while writing these things.

You'll see mighty heroes with the ability to destroy cities be taken down by something ridiculous.

Now, there are some that are not that bad, and there are some that are just atrocious.

And today, we're going to be discussing the stupidest of them all.

So without further doo doo, it's time for the breakdown.

THE STUPIDEST SUPERHERO WEAKNESSES

1. SUPERMAN AND KRYPTONITE

Superman when he sees kryptonite

This is probably the most popular one on the list.
Everyone knows Superman. The mightiest superhero ever created, the man of steel, faster than a speeding bullet and completely helpless when you put a green rock near him.

So you're saying that me, me that I never work out and I've never fought before, you're saying that I could beat up Superman, THE SUPERMAN, if I just had a green rock with me???

What kind of nonsense is that?

I understand giving him a weakness, because superheroes that are too powerful are boring.

But they could have written the rock to just make him lose some of his power, not make him completely useless.

No wonder Ordinary Batman whooped his ass.

2. GREEN LANTERN AND THE COLOR YELLOW

Yes,
you heard me.
This guy's weakness is the color yellow.

I wish I was joking.

Green lantern is my favorite superhero and anytime I hear his weakness, I cringe.
How can you be weak to a color? and not even a cool color, yellow! yellow of all things.

So you're telling me if a criminal is doing crime in a yellow shirt and green lantern gets there, he won't be able to do anything?

you're telling me I could stab green lantern with a banana??

3. BEN 10's WATCH

Imagine this, an alien device, the most sophisticated device in the universe, capable of transforming you to multiple alien lifeforms, imbuing you with unimaginable power...

and having a worse battery than an iPhone.

Yup, that's Ben 10's watch.

If you've ever watched the Ben 10 series, you'd remember that the watch had a habit of dying at the worst possible times.
And quite frankly, that's stupid.

You're telling me that this watch can change my literal DNA, but doesn't have a good battery?

Was it made in China???

Good thing the watch is self charging because if he was in Nigeria, I doubt he'd ever be able to transform.

4. WONDER WOMAN

Wonder woman is arguably the strongest female superhero in DC but not many people know that she has a secret weakness.

Now of all the weaknesses I've mentioned so far, this one is the one that I'm most certain of, was written by someone who was high.

There's no way a sober person thought up this stuff.
and if you think I'm overreacting, keep reading.

Wonder woman's weakness is... men.
Yup
If Wonder woman gets tied up by a man, she loses all her powers...

??????

I'm not even going to elaborate further.

5. HANCOCK

I'm pretty sure everyone reading this has watched Hancock, but for those who haven't, here's the breakdown:

Hancock is a superhero that nobody likes, he's a drunk and he usually destroys government property by mistake.
He's basically Superman and he was played by Will Smith.

Now the thing about Hancock was that unlike Superman, he had no weaknesses at all... or so we thought.

Hancock was cruising and giving until a woman with the same powers came into the picture.
She was more powerful than him and he got progressively weaker when she was around.
Turns out, she was his long lost wife.

So basically, whenever he was with his wife, he loses all his powers.

I'm almost positive that the man who wrote this story was going through a divorce.

6. SHAZAM

If you've not seen the movie Shazam, I don't know what you're doing with your life.

Anyway, the breakdown is this:
Billy is a kid who discovers a secret cave where he gets the ability to transform into a superhero by saying the word "SHAZAM"

When he transforms, he's as powerful as Superman and he has no weaknesses.
But that's only when he transforms.

He's still just a kid and he can be hurt normally if he doesn't transform.

So if you want to beat Billy, just don't let him transform. Don't let him say the word "SHAZAM" and you're good.

Cover his mouth, break his jaw, give him bubble gum so that he'll bite his tongue while chewing and won't be able to pronounce the word.

Whatever you do, just don't let him talk.
And there you go, you've defeated Shazam.

7. ALAN SCOTT

Remember the green lantern with the stupid weakness I mentioned earlier?
Well, there's another one with another stupid weakness.
Sure, it's not as bad as the color yellow, but it's still moronic.

Alan Scott was the original green lantern and his weakness was... wood.

Yup.
Wood.

So what you're saying is that if I had a plank, baton, kondo e.t.c. I could beat this guy myself?

Wow.

How can you be weak to wood for crying out loud.
So what, you can't sit down on chairs?
You can't use a toothpick?!

ugh
I'm done with this list.

CONCLUSION

There are so much more idiotic weaknesses, but these were the stupidest I could think of.

Some people should never have been hired as writers because damn...

Na that color yellow one shock me pass.

Which weakness surprised you the most?
What superhero's power would you take even with the weakness??

Drop a comment below👇🏾

Thank you for reading.

Stay buzzing,

Maximus✍🏾