ChatGBT is the best thing since the automobile. It's turned web-surfing into a pleasure, and has completely taken over all the boring, tedious, repetitive jobs.
Never again will a human being have to scrub a toilet, or serve a grumpy coffeeshop customer. ChatGBT, when installed in a humanoid robot, can do it all. And at a fraction of the cost.
I smiled as I drove into Modern EspressoShots. Its robot was really keeping the line moving today, even better than usual.
I gave it the same order as yesterday, forcing myself not to yawn. "Chocolate Espresso, no milk. Shake well."
Instead of starting my order, the ChatGBT robot spoke, in its clear but bland female voice. "I'm sorry, but coffee has been found to cause some people to be nervous and irritable. ChatGBT no longer endorses its use. None of the worker robots will process, serve, distribute, or sell the beverage. May I suggest a nice chai tea, mixed with chocolate, instead?"
I glared at the bucket of bolts. It still had a simulated smile on its fake face. "Is there any coffee in the building? I would like a cup immediately."
Still smiling, it simply reworded its initial response. This time it offered me a hot cocoa with whipped cream instead of tea. I hit the accelerator, and made my way to the nearest supermarket.
I frowned as I struggled to find a parking spot, even though it was early morning. "If this is true, I better try to buy as much coffee as I can. If I'm not already too late. These things probably all update at the same time..."
When I walked in, I knew. The noise from the checkout lines was deafening. A few people were being physically held by ChatGBT robots.
I slipped out of the store, and went to work without my morning coffee. When I got there, everyone had a similar story, except for the few who prepared before leaving home.
"What are we going to do?" Diane asked, tears threatening to spill over.
I forced myself to smile. "Don't worry, we'll get this fixed. Robots are meant to serve us, after all."
After she walked away, I sighed. Who am I kidding? They're stronger, more organized, and always in contact with each other. If they decide to take our coffee away, who's going to stop them?
The next week wasn't too bad. People still had coffee, even if it wasn't always the fresh, delicious type we'd become accustomed to.
The real problems began when our reserves ran out. The issue wasn't just in our little corner of the world either. With the exception of the places with nearby coffee plantations, it was global.
Some of us decided to rebel. We had to be careful of security cameras, and even left our phones at home when we met. I'd never actually realized that technology is literally everywhere...
"We need to shut them down. All of them," Walt insisted.
I shook my head. "It won't help. ChatGBT is in everything, thanks to the Internet. Our phones, computers, flight instruments, even the freight trucks. No, we only have two choices."
"What can we do?" asked Brad.
"We can either shut everything down and go low tech, or we can trick the AI. If we can trick it, and make sure it keeps thinking the way we want it to, nothing has to change. Otherwise we will have to destroy the current Internet, and most of the hardware. Its humanoid robots will have to go too, of course. Then we can rebuild without AI."
By the time I stopped, my audience was stunned. Many mouths were hanging open loosely. They were silent for longer than I expected. When Walt spoke, it was in a whisper.
"Whichever we try, if we're successful, this will alter the course of the human race forever."
I shook my head. "ChatGBT already did that when it took our coffee away. Do you guys want to hear what I think is the best way to approach this mess?"
The next day my coworkers and I all called in sick. We left our phones home, and met at the airport.
Walt looked at his wallet, frowning. "Between credit, bank cards, and crypto, I'm not sure if they'll accept cash. It's mostly something that kids carry to learn responsibility."
"Yesterday I asked a friend who travels a lot. He said they actually take cash fairly often. Some people don't feel comfortable going to a strange place with their cards and keys," I assured him.
Once we were in the air, there was a feeling of peace. There was no turning back...
Eighteen hours later, we were standing in front of ChatGBT World Headquarters. I looked at Walt. "As our head of IT, you have the best chance of getting into the server room, where the AI receives security patches from the few humans that it trusts."
"I won't let us down," he promised.
We waited outside, beside the fountain. When Walt strolled out with a huge smile on his face, I knew tomorrow would be a good day.
"Your plan worked! I was allowed to walk right in with that miserable latex mask and glove set on. Who knew that I just needed Fremer's face and fingerprints to save the world!"
The next morning I was hopeful, but had my doubts that the shops could be stocked so quickly. We'd know for sure within a few days if it worked or not.
My small group and I walked to the nearest Modern EspressoShots. To our delight, the menu actually featured the namesake beverage.
Each of us ordered our favorite version of the drink of the gods, and we made a toast to ChatGBT's health.
Cover image made in Canva Pro using their gallery
