The art of persuasion. The ability to direct and control the outcome. The ability to have others adopt your claims, your thinking and ideas as their own.
Argument and Debate is an exercise in challenging opinion, belief and principle.
Argument and Debate is about war. It's opposing sides/views that are willing to challenge each other. In a constructive way this can be collaborative. However it can be a circle jerking waste of time of there isn't an established trust between parties...because if there's no solid foundation to stand on...you're not really grounded, and there's no real point of it.
Discussion is more of a sharing without really looking for adoption of claims, beliefs, ideas and or ways of thinking. There's more a sharing here and a potential for creative collaboration.
Argument and Debate are so much so rooted in fighting as a way to discredit righteousness as to see who is the winner who is the righteous one. And it's an interesting thing because it's not really about coming together in an alignment...in an agreement so much as it is about competing opinions and ideas.
There's a lot of effort put into control and manipulation. Influence of opinion is a surprisingly easy thing to do. It's simply utilizing key trigger points as ways to validate and justify your claims. You can steer a person in their participation's when you understand their emotions and feeling's. As children we learn how to manage our parents emotions and feelings...as kind of a way of controlling/influencing/manipulating their responses to us. It's a defence/offense mechanism.
It's interesting to examine the origins of argument and debate within ourselves...and to more specifically go into the control and manipulation aspects and tactics. It's here that the real dirt exists. Let's dive deeper into it.
Ok, so I'm quite proficient in control, manipulation, and influence...How have these things....these tools a weakness within my own character development?
If you do not create structured support verticals - you will trick yourself and trap yourself in your own mistakes. If you are abusing others with your tactics of 'control, manipulation and influence' and do not have a regard for the best interest of these individuals...you will do these very same things unto yourself. The irony of treating people how you like to be treated. This irony is a sort of tragic cosmic comedy of sorts...because it's quite possible and even probable that you will create a sort of like...and a taste for abuse...and so consequently you will abuse because you like to abuse because you've created a warped relationship within and as self-inflicted abuse/punishment.
The outflow is a most unfortunate process of accumulate consequence that has to be settled and forgiven. This is how the earth and our body function. The body and the earth function as the manifestation of self-forgiveness. It's a care taking role of communication. The body, the earth is simply an interconnected communications network. In being an interconnected whole - much responsibility is always in action. Integral to this is our awareness and responsibility for our communications - to take care in our sharing, and to give to give without it being a pre meditative thing or fight.
I've learned a lot of lessons the hard way within communication.
I've never been a particularly good communicator. It's always been a lot of effort. It's been a challenge for me to slow down and speak from a point of silence.
My weakness has been in my propensity to get heated within myself as "argument and debate", where I've been somewhat accustomed to "duking it out"..."fighting to the death" in a way where it's like there's no holding back in getting all the shit out. It's like deliberately fuelling and instigating the fires as an emotional outlet. Eventually there's an end to the intensity in exchange. Communication stops. The dust is settling. Though now there's this huge shit storm of accountability to be cleaned up and taken care of. Often is the case: "shame and embarrassment" for the seemingly unnecessary play out.
This weakness is not the way to play most of the time. It's compromising to yourself and others. It creates unnecessary trauma/abuse that may cause more havoc in individuals lives if not directed effectively.
This is the big example and point of regard here,
consideration and regard for others as equals to yourself.
This is getting into the heart of my weakness,
"Compassion"
I've always regarded myself as very compassionate and willing to share. Very willing and able to share. Here's where things get interesting. In having this desire to serve - where I always want to give way more than I take...I'm not actually living or giving my very best and this "altruistic idea of me being very compassionate" has mostly been in vain as a self-compromise and projection of my accepted and allowed abuse.
Compassion really starts with ourselves for ourselves. It's only here that anything real can be born, developed and shared with any real substantial vitality and vigor that is an added compliment as like a +1 of support and assistance as a seed that is being sown.
calm passion...a passion for calm.
compassion is the living awareness of calm + passion = awesomeness.
Solution is in Real Introspection
Taking the time to investigate the scope of, your points for yourself before you speak them. Take your time in investigation. Best practice is to utilize cross reference once you've exhausted your efforts.
It's a flip of the switch to bring the point back to yourself instead of relying on others to fight with as a way to sort out the bullshit in mind as the deeper seeded bits of suppression that's accumulated throughout the years as self-compromise.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to flip flop within argument and debate, not realizing and understanding the extent to which I've had a real propensity to go to extremes in playing out the spectrum of my thoughts, feelings and emotions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to have a clear script as the best case ways in which I direct any and all points. I realize it's best practice to avoid fighting as a practical point of support...while at the same time welcoming criticism.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and assume that those who are closest to me in relationships are my sounding boards for me to use to assist and support me with my processes of introspection. I realize that yes everybody is a sound board and there is practical support and assistance that can be garnered here - I realize it's important to be considerate in sharing here as a point of regard and value for the other person...where it's not about unnecessarily using and or relying on any individual to be your sounding board. I realize it can be a cool thing to create an agreement with a mate to be sounding boards for each other...where a safe space is creating where you can play fight about anything and everything, because a base of Trust has been established.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the responsibility in establishing guidelines within play-fighting so that it's possible for effective self-governance within and as play-fighting. I realize establishing sound agreements is a matter of effective communication in ironing out the details...the specifics in a way where there's a solid foundation of support and Trust in cemented within and as the rock solid foundation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compromising myself with some of my best play-mates as a result of not taking the time to establish and substantiate clarity in the dynamics of the relationship/agreement.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give trust freely.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to assume Trust within others without first taking the time to establish and build trust. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise the building and development of trust by having started with an assumption that I can skip over these critical developments phases because I just willy nilly freely gave it without doing any sort of vetting and testing.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the tendency to gloss over particular technical details as a result of not experiencing a strong emotion and or feeling towards applying focus to investigating with more depth and precision.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to gloss over technical details that I have a resistance towards.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having created a preference within my process of introspection where I see how much I can push things before I destroy it. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a propensity towards creative destruction. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating unnecessary consequence by deliberately always wanting to be hard on myself and push my levels of intensity.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to glorify my weaknesses in character. I realize that there's much insight in taking the time to really get to know our weaknesses and to actually go into our misfortunes to cultivate...and really carve up our best fortune.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to distract myself from my best introspection by taking the bait of debate when someone says something that really challenges me in some way. I realize here is the opportunity to be actually be vulnerable for real in a gentle way - where it's not about explosive reaction...but more of a slow down and identify what is coming up inside me in realtion to what has being said. From here to share from a point of sensibility and stability..as to inquire with a question as a way of receiving added support and assistance. I realize it's been difficult for me to ask questions upon receiving criticism..as I've been quick to judge my criticisms harshly and I've distracted myself much in getting caught up in fighting...where it becomes a sort of play...a ring around the rosey...until I pick myself up again and take responsibility for my shit.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist asking questions upon receiving criticisms of my character. I realize there is much potential support here as a way for me to learn and listen through the eyes of others as a sort of peer review and cross reference for me as like a way to do a sort of fine-tuning within and as the very challenging of myself and each other to live that utmost potential.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make so much sense of play fighting...that I use it as a defence and justification to distract myself from actually doing the work to improve and even mature the development of my utmost potential. I realize and understand the nature of evasive tactics as ways in which to maneuver and escape culpability. I realize the immaturity of this reaction like response is very childish in nature where it's like having a mini temper tantrum...where the very acknowledgement of fault and mistake are overwhelmingly upsetting and disappointing.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get overwhelmed within criticisms of my character, especially so when the experience of the exposure is a complete and utter surprise and shock. I realize it's best to simply acknowledge the experience for what it is and to actually communicate and discuss from here and move forward within and as the stability and curiosity to grow and learn. I realize and understand the abusive like reactions emerge from a person/characters claims being challenged...as the very idea's and thoughts they hold onto about themselves as who they believe they are.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand Claims and how I've been emotionally influenced according to claims. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having never really so extensively taken the time to investigate the nature of myself within and as the word Claim(s)
I commit myself to continue writing as a way of self-engagement that can be shared with anyone else who might also find it to be self-engaging.
I commit myself to questioning and investigating everything.
I commit myself to integrating and expanding the maturity of Compassion within myself. I realize and understand my compassion has been very limited and I would like to expand my living expressions of compassion in the world as the effectiveness in walking my words.
I commit myself to walking/living my words with compassion as an expression of Life Gratitude. I realize when there's a resistance to towards gratitude and compassion within me...this is very exposing of an unresolved issue that need to be settled. When and as I see this happen - I take initiative to source the point of instability within myself that requires to be settled back into a position of balance as it's optimum equilibrium.
When we take the time to change something Inside - Everything outside changes.
The first step in changing something inside is acceptance. Once you acknowledge the point, you can forgive the point. The misconception for many new to forgiveness is often in the ego of mind...where the thinking is, "if I accept that there's this part of me that I don't like it will be even more real and I'll have an even more serious problem"..It's fear based propaganda as a form of policing self-talk to avoid self-responsibility in being real about the bullshit that exists inside your mind that's contributing to the collective mess we humans have created. It's time to get real with ourselves and not be too chicken shit scared of the self-responsibility to self-forgive.
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