…it hates silence.
Especially the kind that refuses to defend itself.
Okay okay, hate is a strong word. I admit that… took me by surprise too. But anger does that. Takes over, th-that all consuming, Fff-fiery beast!
And today, anger arrived disguised as interruption.
A phone call.
Two people speaking.
Third suddenly needing the room to reorganise itself around his opinion.
You know the type.
The kind who does not enter conversations.
He occupies them.
His wife and I were talking about something ordinary.
Girls’ night.
Bubbles.
Work.
Soft things.
Safe things.
Our things.
Then came the interruption.
“Put me on loudspeaker.”
Not asked.
Directed.
And before I could even decide whether irritation was appropriate, he had already begun explaining my own words back to me.
“You did not use this term correctly!”
Incorrectly.
Confidently.
Which, unfortunately, is a very common combination.
Ooooohhh, now the old version of me?
Oh, she would have leapt into battle immediately.
She loved evidence.
Loved precision.
Loved the satisfaction of correcting someone in real time while their ego slowly caught fire.
She would have interrupted.
Matched tone for tone.
Volume for volume.
Made sure everybody in that call left knowing she was not the woman to try.
And honestly?
She would have won.
But peace has changed my relationship with winning.
My peace.
So instead, I said nothing.
And then something fascinating happened.
Silence entered the room.
Not awkward silence.
Not passive silence.
Intentional silence.
The kind that quietly hands people a mirror and waits.
Ten seconds passed.
Ten very long seconds.
No rescuing.
No “hello?”
No nervous laughter to soften his behaviour for him.
No emotional janitorial work.
Just silence.
And in that silence, I heard it:
the sound of someone realising their performance had no audience.
Eventually he mumbled something about needing a Teams call to “discuss it further.”
As though misogyny improves with scheduling.
I politely declined.
“No, that won’t be necessary.”
Then I returned to speaking to his wife.
Who suddenly sounded very interested in the weather.
“Haha!”
Ha-ha indeed!
As soon as the call ended, she texted to apologise.
Explaining how he has become frustrated with a certain technology lately.
Which fascinated me even more.
Because anger will always audition for innocence.
It will arrive wearing stress.
Concern.
Passion.
Protection.
Exhaustion.
Principles.
Anything except accountability.
But here is what I am learning:
Triggers are rarely about the moment itself.
They are invitations.
Tiny doors asking:
“Would you like to become who you used to be again?”
And today,
for the first time in a long time,
I declined the invitation.
Well done, girl!
#wins #hivelearners #brave #silence
About the image:
I took this photo in Black River, Mauritius.
Fitting, really.
Because emotions do not always arrive like lightning.
Sometimes they gather quietly.
Heavy at the edges.
Darkening the horizon before we admit what is happening inside us.
And sometimes strength is not the storm.
It is the decision not to become one.
