Happy New Year, ladies, gents, humans, friends and visitors of Hive.
I am wishing you softness where you have been carrying too much, and strength where you have been doubting yourself. I hope this year meets you with good health, good people, and the kind of peace that sits in your bones.
I want to talk plainly tonight. No polish. No pitch.
I built something once out of pure need.
Not the kind of need that looks impressive.
The kind that keeps you awake.
I wanted women to have access to the knowledge that quietly decides who gets paid, who gets heard, who gets to build, and who gets to lead. I wanted a space where a woman could arrive unsure and still be treated with dignity. A space where curiosity was not punished. Where questions were not treated like weakness.
In the beginning, I thought the hardest part would be the work.
I was wrong.
The hardest part was holding it through the seasons.
Some seasons, everything opened.
People responded.
Energy came back.
Opportunities found me.
I felt wealthy, not always in money, but in movement and meaning. The kind of wealth that makes you breathe deeper because you can see the future with your own eyes.
And then other seasons came.
Seasons where the room emptied.
Where messages went unanswered.
Where the people who promised support disappeared into their own lives, and I could not blame them, but I still had to feel the loss.
There is a particular loneliness in building something that depends on hope.
There were nights I sat with the question that does not sound dramatic but can break you slowly.
Do I quit.
Not because I stopped caring.
Because I was tired of carrying.
I reached the point where quitting felt like relief.
But closing it felt like grief.
So I did the in between thing. The thing nobody celebrates.
I did not close it.
But I also could not always push it forward.
Each year, I paid the registration fee again. Quietly. Faithfully. Almost like lighting a candle and walking away. Hoping that this would be the year I had the strength, the resources, the right people, the right timing. Hoping that the dream would meet me halfway.
It is a strange kind of devotion.
To keep something alive without knowing if it will ever fully stand on its own.
And I learned something in that tension.
That there are dreams you do not abandon because they make you money.
You keep them because they make you honest.
Because they remind you who you are when nobody is clapping.
The wins were never only the numbers.
The wins were the women.
The moment one woman realises she is not “behind”. She is under resourced.
The moment another stops apologising for what she does not know, and starts asking clean, brave questions.
The moment two women meet and become a small bridge for each other, and you watch it happen and think, yes, this is why I stayed.
But even joy has weight.
Because when you create a space for women, you do not only hold learning.
You hold stories.
You hold fatigue.
You hold the unseen labour women have been doing for generations, and you try to make something new with it. Something lighter. Something fairer.
And sometimes you carry it so long you forget you are human too.
So here I am, at the start of a new year, telling you the truth I wish someone told me earlier.
Some seasons you will feel rich.
Some seasons you will feel robbed.
Both can be true.
And neither makes you a failure.
If you have something in your life that keeps returning, even after you have tried to let it go, I want to ask you something gently.
What is it asking of you now.
Not what it asked of you in your twenties.
Not what it asked of you when you had more energy, more innocence, more time.
What is it asking of you now.
Maybe it is asking you to pivot.
Not as a performance.
As protection.
Maybe it is asking you to stop carrying it alone.
Maybe it is asking you to make it smaller, so it can last longer.
Maybe it is asking you to rest without shame.
Maybe it is asking you to begin again, but this time with help.
And if you are in that in between place, where you have not quit but you have not quite moved forward either, I want you to know something.
That place is not nothing.
That place is a season.
And seasons change.
If you feel like sharing, tell me what you are holding at the edge of this year.
Tell me what you are trying not to give up on.
Tell me what you are rebuilding, quietly, with your own hands.
I am listening.
