Hello! Good morning! Good afternoon! Good evening! Goodnight! Greetings my fellow Steemians, and Namaste (the divinity in me, recognizes the divinity in you) wherever in this space-time continuum you may be.
I’m a Jedi Wannabe, a wonder junkie, and I am no droid, I just prefer to keep my anonymity for now because I’m yet to overcome my “fear of being seen”. Upon writing these very words, I googled it and one article strike a nerve. And this is what it says,
“So it is important to ask what actually stops us from taking the action and being seen? Is it fear or something else? And what is it we are ACTUALLY afraid of? When we get inquisitive, perhaps a lot of our fears come down to social anxieties hiding as excuses. Our minds create scenarios around what may happen if we are seen. The ‘fears’ often relate to being judged, laughed at, or having our reputation and self-image ruined. We avoid being small, ashamed, and ‘failing’ in the eyes of others. Most of us have probably carried these unproductive habits for so long that they run in the background. Instead of risking being our true expressive self, we continue to pretend, fit in, and be comfortable, while slowly suffocating on the inside (http://upliftconnect.com/overcoming-fear-seen/).”
Every word written above resonates with me. I don’t think I have to elaborate. So what the hell am I doing here if I’m such a scaredy-cat? I’m here upon the recommendation of my good friend @louielowa, the guy who helped broaden my horizon and one of the few people whom I can go down the rabbit-hole with.
For a long time now I've been struggling to find my passion in life and this dude, I don't know what he saw in me that he introduced this platform to me. He has been telling me about this platform since last year, but I keep putting it off because "work is life", I often tell myself. But the truth of the matter is I've got time to spare especially last year. It's just that the bulk of it was spent mostly on unproductive stuff, like wandering inside the world of social media. Well not all of it were garbage though because most of the contents I consumed really helped with my survival in this foreign land and as a newbie in this world of adulthood. Its just that I feel like I could have done more if only I have managed my time properly and set priorities.
And since it's that time of the year again wherein our dear pale-blue dot planet has started “another period of revolution around our parent star”, I made a thorough examination of myself to find out how can I make the most of this life I've been given and be able to add value to the world and figure out what it is that prevented me from realizing my true potential. I found out that fear is the main culprit.
Most of my life I've lived in fear. Fear of showing my real colors and be shunned, fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of change and all other bunch of fears you can imagine. I've realized that fear has paralyzed me most of my life and I'm sick of it. I badly want escape from this fear culture that is keeping this world go round. As what master Yoda said,
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
And I don’t want to “fall to the dark side of the Force” like Anakin Skywalker did. I don’t want to wake up in the middle of my golden years regretting the things I’ve always wanted to do and be filled with anger towards myself and the world just because I let fear “take the wheel and steer”.
So what is it that I’ve always wanted to do? I’ve always wanted to speak my mind about the things that really matter to me but the fear of being wrong and saying/ writing it wrong eats me up every time. In this world full of bigots and grammar Nazis, being the fainthearted person that I am, who wouldn't chicken out?
Since it's that time of the year wherein "change" is most appealing than ever, I figured, it would be a perfect time to wage a war against my fears and reinvent myself. I don't really know how this platform can help me defeat this monster inside, but f*ck it. I'm just going to do this shit! Haha! Peace out! "May the Force be with you all!
2018, here I am, an empty cup with an open mind. Fill me up.