It’s that time again, I get the dreaded text.
They want me back, I have to go to the…
Dentist!
Aw god I hate the Dentist, I am sure it’s a profession made up of Cenobites, except those Cenobites really like like teeth and hurting gums.
Me and the good lady wife have the same dentist, so everytime we go, we go one after the other. I get to wait in that horrible attic waiting room with the smell of teeth fear, it’s only way I can describe it, that chemically stench of apprehension and fear. Like adrenalin room freshener, fight of flight response in air freshener form.
What usually happens is the good lady goes in first and then comes out all bright and breezy, oh I’m fine, she found nothing wrong and then gave me a scale and polish, she so nice the dentist lady.
That’s the response I dread, the better her appointment is then the worse mines will be. I get called. I go in. the chair sits there taunting me, in a minute or two I will be in its painful embrace and the scraping starts, I wouldn’t mind the scraping if it was a tooth scrape, but no, this is the special “its late and you are keeping me from scrape”.
This is the gum scrape, the tortuous scrape along the exposed and vulnerable red flesh of my gums, then comes the air blaster, I assume that’s to expose the hurt and sensitivity along the teeth, mmm, yes, feel the sharp airy pain.
This goes on for eternity and I stare at the light and wait for it to be over. It never seems to be, I sometimes think this is hell and this is my punishment for a mediocre life.
Then the assistant hands me the cup and I can wash and spit the blood away. Over for another while.
I also have to listen to the good lady say, ach, it’s not that bad as I stagger out to the car. A comment that always irritates me, well it did till the time we went and wife was taken after me.
She staggered out pale and shaky and whispered “is she always that rough?”
Yes I whisper back with savage glee, yes she is, feel the pain, like I have to.
You know what though? It’s done and it’ll be three months till the next one, and if it gets too bad I’ll change dentist.
I don’t though, I never change dentist and I never complain, more a reflection on me though than on the Dentist, the savage, savage Dentist.
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