I think I have a thing called Misophonia, have you ever been someplace and then you hear it, that noise, you can’t explain why it annoys and irritates you soooo very much, like a pen clicking colleague at work, or at the cinema, a noisy eater.
Seemingly it’s an actual condition. So it turns out that I am not a grumpy misanthrope, but have a condition.
However though, and I don’t know whether this is Misophonia or not, but one of my pet hates are people that I like to call the braying donkeys of this world, if you have ever been in a restaurant you will know them, it’s the loud middle-class types who stumble in huzzahing at some feeble joke and talking loudly about themselves.
Myself and the good lady decided to go out for dinner tonight, it was a new place in Glasgow called the Boyd Roderick, the staff were lovely, the menu looked great but as we went in I had this feeling, I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but it was something. So, we walked through to the restaurant but initially couldn’t get by someone who was loudly pontificating at the bar, but right in everyone’s way, you know the type, slightly angry, red in the face and no one in the universe exists except them,
Excuse me?
Eh, eh, eh?
Can I get past you?
Emm, aye, oh aye sorry,
Then back to gesticulating wildly about himself.
We spoke to the waiter and said we had a table for two, he brought us to it and I almost froze, sitting next to us was trendobot3000 and his loud attention seeking girlfriend.
Oh god, it’s a vain hipster,
We sat down and suffered his reptilian gaze that seemed to go on for hours. I’d been looking forward to coming here so thought ok, it’s cool, they are paying their bill, they will be going soon, and they did.
Worse was to come.
The Braying donkey middle class crowd came in,
So, we had hoarse loud talker donkey
Aggressive shouty donkey
And a gaggle of other types of donkey who brayed in between.
So that was that, it was all shouted conversation, individual conversations, so no one was talking to anyone, they were just shouting loudly and then demanding more pints of Stella as they shouted at one another, it the levels of selfishness that I find astounding, they shouted the entire way through their dinner, and every other soul there was the same as us, thinking, please shut up, I don’t care what percentage return your investment made, I don’t care that you showed that person at work, I don’t care about the charming little villa you holiday at, can you just be normal and not shout your business up and down the place and let the rest of us eat in peace please?
Oh of course when they finished they couldn’t leave quietly, they knew the couple next to us and stood over us braying at them, it was a bit of a theme, the whole braying thing.
It was then I realised what had made me feel so uneasy, I realised that the place was an
ARSEHOLE MAGNET
The pub\restaurant can be the best place ever, but the arsehole brigade turn up not because they want to, it’s because they need everyone to know how amazing they are and how they are soooo very cool, and all conversation must be undertaken as loudly and gratingly as possible.
You’ve seen them in other restaurants, but they are usually not out in force, but they convene in new places and love to make other people’s experience rubbish.
I don’t get it and never will, but if I do have Misophonia the Donkey brigade make restaurant visits even worse.
If you were entertained or somewhat diverted by this post please feel free to Upvote, Resteem and follow 
