This personal story I am drafting will be my gift to my son on his 18th birthday in six months' time, this and a video game because what 18-year-old is looking forward to a very long letter from his dad?
Over the last 18 years, I struggled to be a dad, just like my dad struggled before me. I was very lucky to share lots of time with you in the past, but the divorce changed that.
Now that you are an adult I wanted to tell you my story. A story that I wish my dad had told me. Maybe it's too early right now, but you might enjoy it when you get to be old and sentimental like me.
Click Back to Start with Part 1
Letter To My Son Part 4
So where were we, well you were in the Alpujara and I was in Granada and those were not the best of times. It took two years to get everything sorted and find a house for us all to live in near Granada.
During those years we did not really move ahead, it was like I was struggling through the weeks to see you and your mom for a couple of hours over the weekend.
The bright sight, I had a job.
On the dark side we did not get much more stable financially but at least there was a steady income. I still wonder if that was worth missing you for, I guess it was the price I paid for having so much time with you before the Primary School Times.
But we now had enough money to buy you cool presents
Moving Back To Granada
Once back in Granada, you did so well in school, you still hated it but you hated getting bad grades even more. That disgust for school always came in the shape of tummy aches. I walked you to the bus so many times with you complaining about that pain, it only got better when you got Maestro Rapha.
I still wonder what caused it.
Was it that horrible school in Ogijares or did something happen in that weird little school in GBayarcal? It seems that the headmistress over there also had some very crazy tactics to make kids walk her way. Locking them up in classrooms without any light and telling them that she loved them better than their own parents.
School is so overrated....
So is work. To keep up with our lifestyle, I started to work overtime. I spend every Saturday and Sunday morning filing forms to bring in some extra bucks.
When we went to Mojacar I would get up 2 hours before you and your mom and spend those on the toilet filing forms just to pay for the holiday.
The Good, The Pretty, and The Father
Financially we were doing better, but your mom's health was getting worse. That meant we had to rely on workawayers (people that help out for food and a place to sleep) more and more.
We had the good, the bad, and the mediocre ...we even had one (or two) we both liked a lot. Although I liked her a lot before you even were born.
I was really happy that we were living all together in one house again, even though it meant I was busy all the time. Getting you ready for school, doing homework after dinner, walking the dogs...the best walks were when you joined. Somehow that just made it more work, and much more fun.
It sometimes felt as if I joined the dark side, the corporate side, but I hope that even then you knew that I am your Father.
One of my favorite memories from those day is you and I learning the whole lyrics of this next song. We also tried to sing it, but as I do have a horrible singing voice I let you take the lead.:
It´s a kind of Magic
Another great Memory is Magic The Gathereing.
You were more and more drawn Manga & Magic The Gathering. I think you were 10 years old when we build your first deck and went to the card shop where we played our first tournament.
We played together and even though you were the youngest by far, you beat guys that were much older. And yes we lost most of the matches, but you learned and kept going.
You always kept going, ever since you crawled out of the egg.
In that sense, you resemble your dad a lot. We don´t quit we just keep walking. And we both had to because times got hard. I am not sure if there is a clear thing that caused it, but if I do need to give a root cause why things got so difficult between your mom and me it´s that we grew apart.
Those years in Loma Verde your mom often could not leave her room, that meant we had workawayers all the time helping us out. For me those were busy times.
I would get up early in the morning to feed and walk the four dogs (and three cats).
Then have a coffee and prepare your breakfast and my lunch. I would wake you up once I was done, and get you ready for school.
After I made you brush your hair and teeth (with different brushes of course) I would make sure there was a workawayer awake to bring you to the bus.
Then I would leave the house, go to work and be back around six. Back home I had a quick chat with your mom and you about your day, before helping you with your homework and making dinner.
After dinner we would do some homework if any, I would pack your backpack because if I would leave that up to you...you were sure to forget half of your stuff everyday.
The A for Forgetting
How many times did I find a letter from school, that you were supposed to give to us...but forgot about. If you could get a grade for forgetting you would have gotten an A for sure.
We really tried to make you sleep in your own room, but due to so many circumstances, you always ended up in my room. Even when I put you to bed in yours I was sure to wake up and find you next to me.
And I did not mind really, your mom needed her rest and I was happy to have some time with you now that I was away so much.
And even though our lives got busier we made time for crazy fun stuff and mud baths.