I spent a year on the east side of the city where there isn’t much going on. There are two or three big tourist spots, and a big business center but everything in between is essentially just commuters and old streets where most of the old shops have already been replaced by chain shops or apartment complexes.
I spent a year searching for something to connect to but in ever shop I visited I felt like just another customer to them. The distance was always there. I don’t need to become best friends with the owner or staff of every shop I go to. I just hope that they can relax a little and be themselves, if not entirely than just a little.
If we can let our guard down a little we can begin to trust each other. A little trust doesn’t mean we develop any complicated relationships or impose on each other or even spend any extra time with each other. It just means we can be ourselves and know that our neighbors are decent and won’t cause us problems
Since I moved to the western part of the city, I have a bunch of restaurants and bars I can visit and shoot the shit with the staff and other customers. Some people do this every night for hours. I don’t need so much of it, I’m not lonely or looking to kill time. I have lots of things I want to do. BUT, a tiny bit each day does wonders for me, and I think it does wonders for everyone.
It just feels nice when we know, from our encounters, that our neighbors are our allies. So I try to get to know anyone I might encounter more than once, just a little. I try to joke with them and brighten their day.
The way I see it, smiles are contagious, and if I can make someone smile, those smiles will spread to others and make the whole neighborhood a bit smiley-we, less judge mental, more forgiving, more open-minded, more fun and interesting, just a better place to be. Why not?
And so instead of going to the chain store near my house for a quick lunch before work, I stopped by this Vietnamese shop where the boss and I got to know each other during the beginning of corona re-opening. She had so few customers at that time and so I brought a few friends and students here. I tried to learn a few Vietnamese phrases from her but a combination of the pronunciation and the fact that I have no plans to visit Vietnam any time soon make it really hard to remember! Maybe if we get some more Vietnamese members at Hive, I will find myself remembering more vocabulary and learning more about Vietnam.
I’m glad to see that business has picked back up. You can’t see in the picture cause two tables just got up to leave but they are doing alright!
There are a bunch of other shops I feel this kind of friendliness, two Indonesian shops and a Turkish one as well as a local blues bar (I’m not even I but blues but it’s a cool place) and wine bar (also not into wine, but again, awesome people), and a punk bar.
I feel my whole nervous system is more relaxed with these kinds of allies around. I can breathe easier. We don’t need to be best friends, or we can be if we want. We just have a sense of community. We all feel we belong and help others feel the same.
What kind of local shops are you friendly with?