I thought I'd use the "Introduction Post" recommended in the 
To formally introduce myself, my name is Janelle. I'm a stay at home Mom to 3 beautiful daughters and happily married and I live in Canada.
Twenty years ago, I made a decision that changed the course of my life.
At the age of 21, rattled with confusion, depression and anxiety, I laid on my bedroom floor, unsure of how to cope with any of it but knowing that I didn’t want to remain in the darkness that was my mind anymore. I was toying with the idea of ending everything.
All I could hear was my Grandmother's voice in my head. As a child, anytime I had any sort of problems or challenges, whether it was being bullied in middle school or fighting with my sister or struggling with math lessons (all very real things I faced! Ugh, math!) no matter what it was - her response was always the same…
“Take it to God. Pray and ask God to help you”
I have to admit that as a kid growing up in religion with very little understanding of what it meant to truly know God….I mostly shrugged this off. It seemed like sound advice but I didn’t know how to do it and I didn’t really want to try.
But in this moment; in this dark place, bottle of pills in my hand - it’s all I could hear.
“Take it to God”
I figured now was as good a time as any to listen to that advice.
“Okay God,” I said out loud in a challenging, angry voice, “IF you’re real, I can’t do this anymore on my own! If you’re real, take this from me!”
I can’t explain exactly what happened next. It was definitely supernatural. I often jokingly compare it to Whoopi’s character in the movie Ghost when Patrick Swayze’s character (the ghost) moves through her body and her entire body shifts forward - except I didn’t physically move, it just felt like it! I definitely was moved spiritually.
It quite literally felt like the weight of a thousand cars was lifted off my body. In that moment, all I could do was cry. I cried so hard I think I broke my face. I remember all I could say was “thank you thank you thank you” over and over".
The next thing I knew, I was on my hands and knees, digging through the bottom of my closet (which was a disaster!) to find the only Bible I had in my life - a ginormous Catholic Bible (I swear this thing weighs about 10 pounds) that I scooped from the cabinet downstairs that belonged to my Mom.
No idea what I am doing at this point or even where to begin, I opened it up and started reading in Matthew and I remember reading:
“But Jesus told him, “No! The Scriptures say, ‘People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ ””
Matthew 4:4
I had no idea what that meant but I knew I wanted it. I needed it. That night, I gave my life to Jesus.
I never told my grandmother this story - I have no idea why. I think there was a lot of shame in admitting the dark place I was in and I didn’t want to burden her with that worry. But I have no doubt that she knows now.
The past 20 years has been a journey that has had many ebbs and flows when it comes to my faith, some times praise came easily other times it was far away from me but it has been 20 years filled with more grace and mercy than I deserve.
My life was saved that night. I thank God for that everyday.
If you're reading this and you don't know Jesus as your LORD and Savior, I pray that you'll repent and choose now to give your life to Christ. It will be the greatest, most important decision you will ever make in your life.
