It's important to remember that John is talking to believers here. So when these verses get used by anyone outside of Christian faith, they are almost always misusing the text. John is talking to US and he is talking about how we treat OTHER believers.
The world will use this verse as a defense against "judging their sin" and it usually goes something like this....God is love so therefore if you love God you must love me and therefore you must love me without judging me (aka calling out my sin) because that is hate. <---WRONG.
The thing we almost always fail to realize, especially Christians, is that God gets to define what love is.
Not us.
As believers, we need to remember this. Especially when we are on mission, evangelizing or sharing the gospel in any capacity. We must remember to follow God's definition of love and not our own. Otherwise the waters can get a bit muddy....
When WE define love, it becomes skewed with emotions and feelings and can change with the wind. It becomes about us. Self serving love is our absolute favourite, isn't it? Me me me me. How it makes me feel. How it effects me.
How does God define love?
"God's love for humanity is revealed through the cross. Because of God's perfect love, believers no longer have to fear death or judgement"
Love is an action. It's not a feeling. It can certainly influence our feelings but it is not a passive feeling you fall into like the Valentines Day cards tell us. You don't just fall in love, get married and stop loving. If you do, you're marriage is in trouble. Anyone who is married will tell you - it's a daily commitment to keep loving through the good times and bad times.
I sometimes tell my kids, "You don't have to like all the time but you are called to love all the time". This changes how you see people and situations. Especially in moments of anger; choosing to love rather than hate can literally change a life at times.
Jesus dying on the cross on our behalf is the literal definition of perfect love. Selfless.
We as believers are called to love in that way, ESPECIALLY towards other believers. If you are not loving in that way, you are not loving the way God asks you to.
Selfish love is inward - it's about me and how I feel and has no where to go.
Selfless love is outward - is continual and active and can go everywhere.
Love based on God's definition. Not your own.
How do we love like Jesus?
If you always start from God's definition of love, it will always have you starting from the perspective of Jesus dying on the cross to cover your sins. That is grace.
So start there. Show grace to others. Forgive others. Put others before you. Be kind.
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