What is love?

A friend asked me.

"How do you know you're in love?"
Here was my response. There's no perfect answer but I was curious to what everyone thinks.

*steemit has messed my bullet points :/

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When a guy meets a girl or girl meets a guy.

At the start.

There are probably 2 things.

1. Physical attraction.
   Are you physically attracted to them?

2. Aura, (type, ideal)
   This is the general feeling from the person. It could be their fashion, style, how they talk, how they walk.

Then as you talk and get to know them more.

1. Personality
   Do you like their personality? Do you get along? Or is it tiring or boring

2. Values, character, integrity
   Do you align with their views? Do you agree with their view? Do you share the same values

3. Interests
   Do you share interests - this is more about combatibility and relateability. Can you relate to each other? The activities you can do together?

I think. Most people consider 1, 2 and 3 and go into relationships very quickly. Because, you can fall in love with just 3 things. I have before.

Next are more long term.

1. Goals for future
   Do you have goals that fit into each other's life? Eg. She wants to study in England. You work in England.

Or

She hates children
You want to be a father

1. Situation, timing
   Distance, age.
   Are you in a long distance relationship? (More chance of fighting and other relational problems) different age, different life stage?
   You have worked a few years. She is a student. She might not relate/ understand your problems in work, you might fight because you expect her to understand
   Inside situation is also differences of cultures potentially causing problems in communication and/or understanding(communication is probably the MOST important in a relationship)

2. Family, friends
   Does being together cause conflict in your families and friends? (Think romeo and juliet)
   Culture differences in families(this happens a lot and usually these days children tend to rebel against their parents desires - usually don't date that race! Or date your race only!)

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You do not need all the categories because there is no perfect relationship.

You fill up the imperfections with committment.

1. Love will grow with more experiences together.
   As you spend more time, you'll have more relateability

2. Common interests
   This is about having something you both value in your life that bonds you together. Like pets or children. You see this in many families where maybe they are not compatible and fight a lot. But the children bring them together.

The last 2 points show that even whilst in a relationship you can develop closer love.

1. Age, Health, physical
   This is the opposite. Even married couples will get old and ugly. So you need to know that physical attraction is not the most important thing

2. Bored of person
   This often happens in relationships "i just don't love him anymore" "she is boring to me now"
   Humans are easily interested and easily bored of things. You want what you don't have and don't value what you have. (This is normal) so you need to also know that relationship and love has many aspects outside of just romance and that it can disappear one day.

All that is mentioned are just some of the factors. At the end of the day, you could fall in love or start a relationship with anyone, but without some of these points thought through, it will just be harder, not impossible, but harder and needing more committment. Some people make it work.

So how much do you trust yourself in times of conflict to be loving. You set the bar yourself.