Oh, the history and the truth of it all but its root is self punishment for something I didn't do to myself. Young children have no idea how to process events that scar them emotionally so it seems that instinctively we believe we are not worthy of love. If a controller comes along to take advantage that feels normal. I waded through my own psyche for decades raising kids without the benefit of psychotherapy, and I was was blessed to meet the Savior at 19. Eventually He brought to the surface a dream triggered by a family crisis. The shock was just like they portray in books. Suppressed memories resurfaced at age 30ish and I became aware of what I was allowing and forgave myself for that which I didn't know.
We do have a sisterhood, funny how that is. God is great. ❤