Ohhhh how sad to have that spunk, and to have a husband who suppresses it. (Make that past tense.)
I try not to get too public about my sister, sharing personals, but she had that kind of husband. "Less than Zero" in terms of emotional support AND physical (doing chores) support. Oh the details I have not shared. Women have a kind of sisterhood that requires some outrage, some SPUNK, on behalf of other women suffering what you did, but you probably can affirm that the husbands are masters at isolating their wives and alienating their friends, so the wife has no remaining support group, and add to that the undermining of self esteem, the sense of deserving no better - HOW did you break free - no need to answer that here (and you probably already did in Steemit posts way back when). I'm so glad you've made that break, so sorry you suffered for 20 years. And thank you for all the kind words! You're a rare reader, if you can like my unorthodox (discursvie) writing style. Bless you!! Thank you!