This is a Holmes and Watson story, after they have retired..
Image by bluebudgie from Pixabay
THAT TIME OF NIGHT
Shall I tell you a joke now Holmes?
Oh, is it that time of night already?
I’m afraid it is.
Well, have at it then.
I’m thinking now.
Please don’t take all night.
I won’t, I promise… Holmes, did I ever tell you about that time we were climbing out of that pit we were in, in that darkness, and I was carrying you over my shoulder?
No, I never heard about that one.
It goes something like this: long, long ago, when all was dark and nothing could be seen through the microscopes of those who were looking through them, a man came along called Watson and rescued sir from his dire times and carried him away until he was happy ever after.
No, I definitely haven’t heard about that one.
Is it something that I could interest you in then Holmes?
Don’t’ test me Watson.
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
AND ANOTHER THING
Oh, but it's all such a monkey’s puzzle: it fizzles here, it fizzles there, and when you try to capture it, it just disappears right thru your fingers... How the hell is one supposed to make progress when there is no defining it?
Holmes?
Yes.
There’s a woman at the door.
What does she want?
She wants to come in.
Why?
I don’t know.
Well, go find out.
Yes Holmes, certainly I will.
Excuse me? Said Watson.
What, me? Said the woman.
Yes you.
Yes?
What do you want?
I’ve come to get Holmes and take him away with me.
Oh?
Yes, he’s wanted.
But Holmes is retired now.
That doesn’t matter; I still want to take him away.
I’d better put your request in front of Holmes and see what he says. Wait here until I get back.
All right, I shall wait right here until you get back.
Holmes?
What?
She says she wants to take you away.
She can’t come for me now; I haven’t finished my wine yet.
And what wine would that be?
It’s the wine that soothes my soul.
Well, there’s nice.
Yes, and another thing, let me tell you…
Hang on…
What?
The pizza man is here with the pizzas.
Oh thank God for small mercies. Go get the pizzas then Watson.
Yes Holmes; and what should I tell the woman who wants to take you away?
Tell her to come back tomorrow.
…
You know Watson, maybe we should not have ordered so many pizzas because I feel rather full now, perhaps over full, if you understand my meaning?
Indubitably I do Holmes, yes, I feel full too.
Well, let’s have some wine then to round it all off.
And some cheese too Holmes.
Precisely.
Image by WikimediaImages from Pixabay
GREEN I SAY
Watson, Watson…
I’m here Holmes.
Everything’s gone green.
Green Holmes?
Yes I tell you, it’s all green.
I have a barf bag right here in my pocket Holmes.
Images from Pixabay
