For me it is something that I got from first 15 years of childhood that made me quite crazy for a very long time. I still remember now 60 years later the psychic shout of my father's violence. I've been depressed for 65 years and sometimes really badly. I've also been and taken more cures than I can say and none have worked. The only thing that half works is meditation that I've been doing since mid 70s for an hour a day. I think something got damaged inside me and the only thing that does work is something the doctors won't give me any more as they say it is addictive.