The Specter Is Called: Getting Out of the Comfort Zone

Hello .... there...

Entering 2026, as a contract employee, my mind won't be at ease until my contract is finally extended. Lately, my workload at the office has lessened. What used to be a heavy burden on my head due to having to keep up with SLAs has now become more of a daydream. Work has become very relaxed. For the Helpdesk division, relaxed work isn't a good sign. A relaxed work flow indicates a state of alert—like an actively erupting volcano. In this economy, not having a permanent job certainly creates a dilemma—especially if you're in a big city, ALONE!

They say that when you're afraid of losing it, you've already lost it. Previously, I'd always surrendered to God's will for this job I loved—because of the enjoyable work environment, but lately I've become worried. Honestly, I'm not afraid of losing a steady income, not because I have a lot of installments. I don't have any installments. I don't even have a hedonistic lifestyle; there's really nothing to worry about. However, if I lost the job that provided 75% of my income, I would lose all my assets. I've been there before—where my savings were wiped out when I resigned from my main job five years ago.

I feel like I'd be exhausted if I had to repeat that hardship. I'd just stay at home, lazing around all day—because I wasn't disciplined. My lifestyle was chaotic at that time. Stepping out of my comfort zone is that scary.

I know, sometimes life is like a gamble. Like, if I lose this job—maybe something better—something bigger, will happen. But I'm not someone who likes to take big risks. I'm honestly very scared. I'm also afraid of losing that environment, which is so enjoyable.

Sometimes, I heard that some people with skills below me had signed contract extensions, so I was convinced I would do the same. But later, I started to think I'd underestimated those people. And I started to overthink, what if, based on the data, I'm the one with skills below them? It really kept me up at night because I felt like I underestimated them. I can only pray that I will continue in my job for at least another year because I still want to live in peace without having to wonder about 'will I be able to pay my bills this month?'

Hasta La Vista...

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