A single mother (never married) raised me and I adore that woman to death. In all honesty, she is the reason I am who I am today. Every positive decision I ever made, and even some negative ones are because of her and I love her for it. Nevertheless, much as I appreciate her, I don't think the world around her does and this infuriates me. And not just her, but all single parents!
Single parenthood is becoming more commonplace than it used to be and single parents are getting much more recognition and acceptance. However, it is still insufficient. They deserve so much more and here's why:
They have the strength to overcome their circumstances
The world is cruel, and a majority of you will agree with me on that. Here is a person, who essentially had dreams of having a complete family like every other person. Complete in this sense means at least two parents and children. Then the world cuts in and decides, no way! You can't have this! Suddenly this person finds oneself in a situation where they have to raise a child or children alone. Even then, the world doesn't stop spinning for this person to adjust. The kids keep growing, their needs increase, and the parent's needs and dreams have to be shoved aside to allow the children to nurture their dreams. Even so, however far back and deep down you try to shove your dreams, hopes and wishes, they always find a cruel way to resurface. Single parents, therefore, have to deal with their new circumstances.
"Hey, this is just the way things are now and I'm sorry but you have to cherish what you have." They no doubt convince themselves.
Except that this time, they don't push their dreams aside or let them hover somewhere in the background. Instead, they learn to let them go for the sake of their children. Do you have any idea how hard it is to give up on something you have always wished for?
Source: https://www.brainyquote.com
Societal Pressure
I honestly think the society needs to dial things way back down. This pressure that is put on people to be perfect is an unhealthy breeding ground for some of the most destructive habits and mental illnesses.
So my mum recently built a home and moved from rental apartments. You would think that people would actually show some support and cheer her on. But nuh-uh!
"Look at that woman, she doesn't even have a husband, I bet she can't get past the foundation."
"Now look at her. She's trying to mock us with her foundation. She definitely won't even make it further."
"She's such a show-off! No way she gets past the roofing. You need a man for these things."
Such were the words and most were coming from the people she thought were her friends. When she finally completed the house they turned to something else. Still, they find blemishes.
"No way she finds the money to pay for her children's school fees. They cannot graduate."
My sister graduated and I'm one unit away from the same.
And still, they do not keep quiet.
The same kind of language is not used on those of her friends who are not single parents. These are some of the negative things that single parents have to deal with and it is sickening. For all the hard work they put in, single parents deserve a lot less flak and so much more support.
Opportunistic offers
That someone is a single parent, does not mean that they are so destitute and desperate that you have to use this as a bargaining chip to get into their lives. I know plenty of single parents and they have all experienced this at one point or another. A man/woman comes out of nowhere and suggests that because you are a single parent and all, you need them in your life and that they can help out. What ? You've been doing this for years. How is it that suddenly you need a spouse to help you? This is actually more of an insult than a proposal. You're clearly not asking for their help. Plus, your situation does not change the fact that you are an independent person. If you want to date someone, stop using the kids as a bargaining chip, it never works. And unless they ask for help, they do not need it!
Slow evolution
I will admit the world is changing and people are growing more tolerant. But, it's not changing fast enough. This tolerance we speak of, should actually be acceptance. People will say that they are okay with single parents, but are they really? And even if they are, is the general society? I think not. And especially not in Africa. Is it really so difficult for people to stop involving themselves in other people's lives
All in all, I admire the strength shown by single parents, regardless of gender. You are the Kings and Queens who deserve this world!
Source: http://www.picturequotes.com/
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