A few nights ago I was working away in my job at a supermarket, I knew my girlfriend was experiencing some anxiety about the last few months, with bills and her study and some other things I'd rather not discuss. I had my phone on me and was texting her, reassuring her that it's all going to be ok. Then I received a message that sunk my heart to the floor. it stated that she was going to catch a train interstate, find somewhere quiet where no one will be able to talk her out of it and end it, it wasn't the manic messages I was receiving earlier this was calmer which made it much more terrifying. So needless to say I dropped everything and ran out of work without a second thought. Now, my work is an hours drive from where we live, I have never been more worried about anything in my life, I was so terrified about what I would be coming home to, horrible thoughts were running through my head I couldn't stop thinking about what I might find, I had tears of worry streaming down my face.
I got home, ran up the front steps opened the door and was greeted by the dogs... no missus, anywhere... I scoured the house looking for her, the backyard, the front yard, I went up and down the street checking the train stations and bus stops. I was sick with worry, so I had no choice I had to call the police so they could help me find her, little did I know about their duty of care for people who have talked about harming themselves, but I'll get to that. I couldn't call her, she wasn't answering but she was messaging me, so I was messaging her making sure she was alright and I managed to convince her to come home. As soon as I saw her walking in the gate I ran over to her and gave her the biggest hug, a hug I didn't want to let go of. She came in and had a shower and that's when I called the police back and said she was at home and that she was ok, it was then that I found out about their duty of care.
The police and ambulance had to come over and make sure that she was ok and she was mentally stable, she was not happy about there being 6 people in her house because all she wanted to do was to sleep. They had to take her to hospital either by her compliance or by force, fortunately she complied. She asked for her house key and told me to leave and never contact her again. I felt absolutely horrible about all of it because at the time she couldn't see why I did it, all she saw was me betraying her. So an hour passed of me trying to explain myself and telling her I want to come and see her when her attitude changed, she seemed to have calmed a bit and said "if you're coming come, if not I don't care" I shot up and left without a second thought I didn't even lock the back door. I sat with her for 6 hours... 6 hours to be seen by a doctor and then a psychiatric doctor... 6 hours, in a hospital for anyone is ridiculous but for someone with crushing anxiety and depression it must feel like a lifetime. She was neglected, strip searched by a male officer, even though there was a female officer present, she was told she could get some help through one of the hospital programs but ultimately couldn't because of something she explained to the nurses and doctors on multiple occasions, she was made to wait and couldn't leave, the hospital didn't offer any vegan food other than "a few crackers" and that sadly is the state of affairs in the mental health sector in Australia.
Since the hospital visit she had a couple of terrible days, just being generally inconsolable on multiple occasions, having absolutely uncontrollable anxiety attacks. She's generally been worse than she was before she was forced to go to the hospital which really isn't good enough from the so called health professionals. She has been counting her anxiety attacks to which she had 13 yesterday and today she's had 6... it's been a long hard road but she feels like she's turning the corner and will be getting the help she needs from the people she knows best, which is a massive relief to me and her family.
This whole ordeal has shaken my faith in the mental health system, it rocked me to my core, completely. The way she was treated no one should be treated let alone someone who is being taken against their will, for a mental illness related problem. I've never seen anyone feel the way my beautiful, selfless girlfriend has been feeling the last week or more. I've never had to deal with mental illness before so it is quite a shock to the system to see how deep and dark people can go even if they are loved.
If you know someone who is going through a tough time don't hesitate to ask them how they are or how they're doing, just showing that there is someone there who cares enough to ask could make all of the difference. Please take care of each other out there.
Vikinghammer Out!