My realization these days is that survival alone is not much worth if what we survived for, leaves us being liars, cowards or regretters.

Yes. I agree. Life is not the most important thing either, sometimes it is better to die, because it is not worth sacrificing everything that is good in life for fear of dying, to simply live in misery. But, what I meant is that, sooner or later, everything passes. We end up overcoming crises and life goes on.

But I agree, it's not worth surviving at all costs.

The other voice says: "You are not alone in the world. People DID got beaten, went to prison, WERE captured in either short or long encounters, LOST their jobs, were separated from their dying ones, LEFT alone in the intensive-care units dying."

Yes, but maybe you ask people who suffered all those things, and they would say something like "I was lucky, I thought it would be worse." It is something relative. See it this way, if we compare someone from a rich country to someone from a poor country. The person from the rich country probably sees the poor and believes that is suffering, and does not imagine what his life would be like if he were like this, and believes it is unacceptable. But then you ask the poor guy and he says "I'm fine." And that's because that's good for him. All those people who were beaten, went to prison, were captured, lost their jobs, were separated from their relatives, eventually got over it. Eventually they got on with their lives, eventually they found a way to fix it. They did not stay there and live an eternal hell, but that also pass.

Here where I live there is a saying that says there is no evil that lasts a hundred years or a body that can support it.

I don't want to minimize their suffering either, but I think it is inevitable that they will eventually move on. Time heals all wounds. And the wounds it does not heal is because we want to have them.

There are times keeping silent is wise, and there are times speaking is wise.

Sure thing.

Also

I just lost one of my contractors

I'm not sure what this means. Are you at risk of losing your job? Would you describe this, in any way, as a crisis? Do you see any way to solve this? Or is it something you don't have to solve because you say you see it as a relief?

Best wishes to you.

Thanks.