"It looks like it might rain today – that is, if you could see over this wall of fog. Now, are you sure you want to do this? We can always wait a few days if the weather clears. Grandma would understand…" I looked up at her, ready for any excuse. Even through the gray haze, I could see her finger tighten even more around the string of her apron. The thin material seemed almost translucent through the mist.
"No, Mama, I must do this today!"
"I just don't want you to get hurt, dear. He's a soldier. Even if he's not a complete stranger, it's not right that you should see him alone."
"Now, Ma, I've seen plenty of strangers alone. Besides, he's a soldier, just like you told me. I can handle him."
"Alright, then. But only if you can handle him here in town; not in the fields. I won't send you out there alone – not even to the town pump. You've been there lots of times – there are plenty of trees to hide behind. I promised your Aunt Harper that I'd keep you safe."
"I haven't been there in months – since he's been gone. It's not a big kingdom out there. I'm a big girl now, Ma, and I can take care of myself. You've done a fine job raising me to be safe and smart."
"Yes, I know," she glanced out at the storm, "just be careful out there. If he isn't a soldier, he could be a thief."
"I know, Ma. I'll be careful."
I could tell from the expression on her face that she was not totally convinced, but after all, it had been weeks since my last trip outside the gate, and I hadn't seen but a handful of soldiers since his departure.
"Alright, then. You go on, but not too far – be careful. I don't want the guards to stop you from coming back." Her voice cracked, and her shoulders sagged as she stood to finish preparing breakfast.
"I won't go far," I promised as I hurried to finish so that I wouldn't have to run through the weather. I had leave in an hour, and I didn't want to have to cover a mile in the foul weather.
When I exited our hall at the front gate, I practically ran down the road to the outskirts of our kingdom. It isn't exactly a long trek to the fields, but I have never liked to leave it too far behind. Uncle's stories have always made it sound… mean.
Even in the cold, my heart began to race as I traveled the familiar path towards the field. I realized then that I really had no idea what he looked like. He was a soldier, yes, but he was an especially handsome soldier – I had been daydreaming. I didn't even know how tall he was. I couldn't even imagine what he sounded like.
I hadn't a sign of him since the day that he left, just a couple of weeks after mother told me we would be married and all the fuss about it died down. I wasn't able to say goodbye. I couldn't even see him before he left, not that I would have; not without a goodbye. Marriage was something you had to be ready for, but I didn't even know who was sending him to us.
In truth, commanders are always sending soldiers in and out of the kingdom, even now. My mother does not believe in the war – she thinks that you can keep troops away from your borders with the best of intentions, and I don't agree. She argues that the troops aren't needed to defend the kingdom – the walls get high enough. She does not believe in deceit and would only ally with those who act in good faith.
I believe that you have to fight for what is yours. Even now, when times are harder than ever, money is tight, and food more limited, the common folk do not always have the luxury of forethought – we must fight for what we want. We are a small kingdom, but we have done very well through the years, despite the worsening times. Mother calls it silly pride, and I agree with her somewhat. It was always surprising to me that she would associate such a strong belief in our cause with foolish pride, but she has always been helpful with all of my questions and offered many sound reasons not to fight for the cause. She only believes that you should only fight when you are sure that you are right, which is not a bad rule at all.
I was in the fields near the border of the neighboring kingdom – the one that my mother believes we must join. I had been told that there were plenty of soldiers, which were very important for defending the big kingdom even if she did not agree with their cause. I had never met them, but their uniforms were always the same. I didn't believe that they were all treasonous; I believed that they had simply been sent to cause trouble. Mother says that they are all fools and that it is best to avoid crossing them at all costs.
The fields were empty, likely due to the storm clouds. The morning was gray and I could see my breath in the cool air as I walked. I began to look about for any sign of anyone or for any clue to where he might have gone, but I found nothing. Though the sky was still gray, the sun had started to peek through the clouds, so I knew it would only be a matter of time before the skies cleared. I continued to walk anxiously, feeling more and more hopeful as I walked.
Nothing looked different out in the fields. There weren't any trees to hide behind, only low mounds of soil and a few weeds. Finally, I decided to look around, hoping that maybe the soldier had stashed his horse underneath one of the mounds.
As I walked along, movement caught my eye. There were at least four men standing off to the side, but they were not soldiers – they were not wearing the uniform. I didn't recognize them, but I knew that they were there to cause trouble. As I approached, they came into view.
The leader was tall and thin. He had a few days' worth of growth on his face and a long shaggy beard. He wore nothing but a dirty, dingy cloak, and breeches with only one boot and a vest that seemed too small. He had a sword – I think. It was impossible to tell. It was not sheathed, but it was also not attached to any sort of scabbard or strap. He looked as though he could barely lift the sword from his side. He was short and stooped, with long arms and a hunched back. The rest of them looked as though he was the only one without a sword – some held spears, some didn't. Their cloaks were dirty as well, some in shades of black and dirt-colored blues, others a mossy green.
They were closing in on me with vicious grins on their faces, and I was about to run when the leader stopped and turned as though he had forgotten something. I froze as he leaned in, bringing his head back to his chest, and I held my breath. I was about to dash across the field, hoping that I could reach the gate before they caught me – the castle's guards would be able to fight them off long enough for me to get back to the gate. I waited but the leader stopped, and I breathed again. He continued walking, and I began to run.
"Stop!" I heard him yell as I reached the tree line that rimmed the border between our towns – the tree line that my mother had said wasn't safe.
I could tell by his voice that he wasn't there, hollered from behind me as I ran, but he was not far behind. I sprinted deeper into the trees and stopped, panting and trembling. The ground was slippery with fallen leaves, and I slipped a few times before I halted. I was foolish to have even walked to the trees so close to the border. I should have known better. I should have been aware of the possibility that something could happen. I've been to the border before, while my lessons were still fresh in my mind, but this was the first time that I confronted the threat beyond the tree line.
I looked up and down the long stretch of trees. I thought I could hear another footstep, and I stood quietly, waiting for whoever it was to approach. I wished I had someplace to hide. I'd be hopelessly lost if I had to crawl under one of these trees – I knew the only place that I could go was home, but if he caught me there, he would kill me. I considered running, hoping to make it to the town before he caught me, and then it hit me.
I had left my horse only the day before, and I hadn't been able to fix it. I have always liked the idea of riding the horse, but I knew that Mother would not approve. She told me that horses are easier to keep mine horses if I lived in the town and not the fields. I could not imagine feeling trapped in the town.
When I didn't see anyone approaching, I walked over to the nearest mound of dirt and began to dig. It was well hidden, but it would do just fine as a hiding spot. Due to the darkness of the day, I did not have enough light to see the ground. I had to feel around until I found a piece of stone. It would make a perfect corner, but it was too short.
I heard him. He was coming towards the trees, and I knew he must have seen me. I made no noise as I dug my way into the small mound of soil. It wasn't as comfortable as I had hoped, but it would be far better than being found outside the rock wall beside the field. I waited until he came closer, not daring to see if he had gone even deeper. When I heard him coming, I turned my back to the wall as he past.
I heard him give a mighty shout beyond the trees. I was startled, but I didn't panic. I froze, waiting to see if he would come back around and look in the trees – he didn't. I didn't hear him enter the field, so I stood up from my hiding spot. Rolling up the cloak that had been strewed around the hole that I had dug, I crouched and stuck my hands into the pockets. I managed to tuck the fur under the hem, but it didn't quite reach the pocket. I was nervous that it would slip out, and I was careful to keep my hands in the pocket.
I hated hiding, but I feared looking back at the trees. I had never felt so helpless and alone. The worth of it all seemed so small. Though my life was mine, it did not belong to just me. If I were to die, it would be as though all of my hard work had been for nothing. For all of my hard work, I was not sure of the value of it all. I prayed that the most important of it all would make the death worth it. My chest tightened as I thought of the disgust that people would have once they noticed that I was gone.