We find “Firestorm” Jonathan Mills at the local game shop. He’s sitting at a table with a box of cards from a collectible card game based on Chaotic Pro Wrestling. He has a small deck of cards sitting in front of him, separate from the box of cards.
Jonathan Mills - Hey, there, fans. I just thought I would get at the core of what’s going on here. I have joined Chaotic Pro Wrestling and am going to have my debut match at the UBS Arena in Elmont, New York. I face a basic man with a basic name who wrestles a basic style. His name? Reaper.
Jonathan pulls a card from the deck in his hands and reveals the card to be a wrestler card for Reaper with his appearance and stats on the card.
Jonathan Mills - I mean, he doesn’t look bad, but what does he look like? The profile that I had this card made from does not list a real description so I have no idea. Does he look like the Grimm Reaper? Press X to doubt. No, Maximilien Pierre Black, I think you look like a basic bitch. Now,I understand that this isn’t very friendly of me and for that I will almost apologize. Almost. Let’s get into the character a bit more, shall we?
Jonathan turns over another card. A Finisher card with the name J.P.R.
Jonathan Mills - Do I know what the initials stand for? No. I’m pretty certain that they don’t have anything to do with the concept of being a Reaper. Nothing to do with harvesting souls or anything. And what is the move? A springboard bulldog. An awfully complicated move for someone who is so basic. Let’s look at the secondary finisher.
He turns over another card to reveal “First Person Shooter” which is a Blockbuster.
Jonathan Mills - Another complicated move for someone who doesn’t seem to have more than a basic wrestling style. What other moves do you have? Punch, kick, schoolboy? How do you tell someone that you flunked out of wrestling school without saying that you flunked out of wrestling school.
Jonathan turns over several cards onto the table. Basic moves for a basic wrestler who hasn’t progressed in a wrestling style.
Jonathan Mills - Normally to have a good game, a wrestler deck kind of requires forty cards. I couldn’t get this built out beyond twenty. A small dick…I mean deck. So, this is why I’m going to storm the ring and take you down. This is why I’m going to show CPW that I’m the real deal.
Just then, a young boy walks up to Jonathan,who smiles at him.
Jonathan Mills - Ahhh, young Sebastian. Can I get you an autograph of my wrestler card?
Sebastian shakes his head and points at the cards.
Sebastian - Are you done playing with my cards? My mom says that it’s time for me to be going.
Jonathan stacks the Reaper deck back up and puts it back into the box of cards before sliding the box back to Sebastian.
Sebastian - When do you think you will be added to the CPW collectible card game?
Jonathan Mills - Next update I’m sure.
Sebastian - Okay.
He takes his box and walks out of the store while Jonathan turns bck to the camera.
Jonathan Mills - Well, Reaper, I’m going to come. I’m going to see. I’m going to kick your ass. Pretty basic, right? Later…
The scene fades as Jonathan walks over to the RPG books and begins to shop.
