Shane Black settles in his nice house to a plate of wings that he smoked then fried then grilled in a hot sauce all by himself. It was unusual in that his wife and children had gone to her mother’s house. Probably in light of his buying the Silver Sliver without consulting her. He was sorry about it and would try to make it up to her to get her to come home with the kids, but for now…wings!
There was a knock at the door as Shane brought the first wing up to his salivating mouth. He glances at his phone which says it’s late in the afternoon. Who would come calling at the door without calling the cell phone first? Shen gets up to answer the door. He looks through the peephole first to see that Greg Adkins is standing there.
He’s the former owner of the car! What could he want?
Shane opens the door and sees the wide smile on Greg’s face.
Greg Adkins: Sir, I have been trying to call you about the Silver Sliver. It seems that I was in error in selling it to you. See. I was in the thoughts that we would be doing boat races from now on and it was made clear to me that it was a one-and-done kind of thing.
Shane frowns.
Shane Black: Look. I gave at the office. I don’t know what it is that you want from me.
Shane goes to close the door, but Greg gets his foot in there to prevent the door from being closed all of the way.
Greg Adkins: If you could find it in yourself to sell me back the car? That would be great.
Shane Black: No? I love that car. I wouldn’t sell it for the world. Now, I have wings to get back to eating.
Greg Adkins: Sir, if you wou-
Shane shoves Greg back so that his foot is no longer in the door and closes the door in his face. He goes back to his wings and grabs at the remote control to turn on the television. A good action movie would help the wings go down, but before he could turn the television on, there is a knock at the window by his couch.
Greg Adkins presses his face to the window, his mouth and nose mashed against the glass.
Greg Adkins: Please sell me back the car. You know you won’t be able to legally drive the car on normal streets anyway. Please?
Shane gets up from his seat on the couch and walks over to the window with a frown.
Shane Black: I will not sell you the car. Go the fuck away!
With that, Shane closes the shades so that Greg Adkins can no longer be seen. He walks back to the couch and turns on the television. It isn’t long before he has found a cowboy movie with a black-hatted outlaw riding on a horse while shooting behind him at a group of horse-riding lawmen. The outlaw lifts his hat and looks into the camera to reveal that it was Greg Adkins!
Greg Adkins: Please sell me the car. You don’t want the children to cry when I can’t race. Do you want to be the one to make kids cry? I don’t think you do.
Shane blinks at the television. How did he? He walks over to the window and opens the blinds to reveal Greg Adkins licking the window. He looks back at the television to see that the outlaw has gone back to normal. What?
Greg Adkins: Pretty please with pickles on top could you, would you, sell me back the car? I don’t want to make this weird…er.
Shane shakes his head.
Shane Black: I can not, will not, sell back to you that car. I love it!
Shane closes the blinds again and goes back to his wings. He begins eating them while watching his television show. Eventually, the heat of the wings gets to be a bit much and he heads to the kitchen to get a beer out of the fridge to ease the heat in his mouth. He opens the fridge and the beer bottle is handed to him by Greg Adkins.
Shane Black: Thanks.
Greg Adkins: No problem.
Shane closes the fridge and pops open the beer bottle while walking back to the living room. He stops in his tracks when things begin to click. He walks back to the fridge and opens it up again. Greg Adkins waves at him.
Greg Adkins: It’s really cold in here, you know. Won’t you please, please, please sell me the car back? I’ll be your best friend!
Shane sighs and closes the fridge. He opens a junk drawer and fumbles through it until he finds a padlock and locks the fridge closed. He goes upstairs and sits at the side of his bed.
Shane Black: I don’t know how he’s doing this. It must be stress. Yes, stress is all it is. A nice, hot shower will cure that.
He strips down to nothing, the camera keeping things at a tasteful angle so that nothing vital can be seen. He heads into the master bathroom into the walk-in shower and turns the water on to begin his hot shower. He washes his hair and is rinsing the soap out when he feels someone scrubbing his back. She came home! He finishes rinsing his head and reaches back with one hand, though he does not find a woman’s privates. He finds a mans’
Shane turns around in shock, knowing what he will find, but really hoping it isn’t.
It was Greg Adkins with a loofa, naked in the shower with him. He starts scrubbing Shane’s chest with the loofa.
Greg Adkins: Do you think that you could find it in your heart to sell me back the car? I’ll even sell you the boat that we used in the last race! Think about it. You could really teach the kids how to fish with the guns that come with the boat!
Shane Black steps out of the shower and grabs the hair spray as Greg follows him. He sprays Greg in the eyes with the hair spray to blind him and then closes the bathroom door as he makes an escape. He gets dressed quickly and heads out to the car. He climbs in and starts driving, quickly heading toward his mother-in-law’s house.
Shane gets about three miles away from the house before he notices that the rearview mirror needs adjusted as if it is pointed up to the ceiling. He adjusts it and nearly craps himself as he sees Greg Adkins, dressed at least, in the back seat.
Greg Adkins: What if I doubled the price on the car? You could make a profit, you know.
Shane stops the car in the middle of an intersection, stopping several cars in the process so that they don’t hit his car. He walks over to one of the cars that has a single, female driver. He opens the door, pulls her out, and gets in the car. He drives the car to his mother-in-law’s house and walks in. His mother-in-law is bringing food out from the kitchen to the dining room table to where his wife and two children are sitting.
Shane Black: Honey! I’m so sorry about buying the car. I’m going to sell it back at twice the price! What do you think of that? We could go on vacation!
The mother-in-law sets the large dish of food down on the table and looks up. It’s Greg Adkins in drag clothing.
Greg Adkins: It’s good you’ve come to your senses, sonny!
Shane chuckles a little, but not in a good way. More of a broken sort of way. Especially when he looks to his wife and children for moral support to discover that they are ALL Greg Adkins in the clothing and approximate size of his family.
Wife Greg Adkins: I knew you had it in you. A trip to Florida is what we needed.
Kid Greg Adkins (together): Disney World!
Shane Black laughs hysterically, turns around, and runs out of the house while leaving the door open. He’s seen running down the street and over the horizon. Greg Adkins walks out of the bathroom while everyone else in the room is revealed to be wearing realistic masks.
Greg Adkins: Yay, I am getting my car back.
Everyone just stares at him.
Greg Adkins: What? Did we go too far?
The Optional Race Enhancer Questions (explained in other post on roleplay rules):
Do you avoid the turkey? No, the Silver Sliver is built with a ramp. We head right for the turkey to knock it straight into the air to land on one of the cars behind him.
Can you see through the feathers? Not a lick. It doesn’t help that Greg closes his eyes to prevent feathers from cutting his eyeballs (even though they really won’t since he wears a helmet)
Is it global warming or climate change? Global Warming for sure.
How will your team respond to winning? Greg Adkins stands on the ramp of his car and yells out “This is for Shane Black for selling me back the car!”
How will your team respond to not winning? Much grumbling.
