Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. As an old saying goes – love is in the air. In the mall, I can see couples walking in their sweet gestures. Looking at them I can now gauge how overflowing the love is. That’s the same scene I see when Valentine’s Day is coming, same scene yet different actors. I never care. I never envy them. I used to believe in love until my loved ones left me one by one. For the longest time I decided just to be with me – I’m better off alone. I don’t need to share my popcorn when I watch a movie. I can be at any places and no one would bother to ask for the reason why. I can eat all my favorite foods and never care if I gain weight. I call it – freedom. Hey soul sister, I’m not sour grapping here. I’m just writing out what’s my mind has been shouting.
Through the years I have created my sanctuary which many called it as isolation. But there’s one man who was so persistent. I was never annoyed at him though I really can’t and won’t find time for him. Until one time his persistence get into my nerves. It’s quite annoying but with a feeling of gladness. I don’t have time, I said. Just one hour. One hour is all I need. He said with I gentle voice. I’m busy and I can’t squeeze in my time. I’m loaded – big time! That was me with an annoying voice that at any point in time I would burst out. But I know this guy has mastered the art of persisting people. I will never win and so I finally said – ok 15 minutes. That’s it. Take it or leave it. I’m taking it. He said with a smile. And so, I spent my first odd 15 minutes in silence with him. The 15 minutes became 30 then 1 hour, until I just found myself longing for him. That’s strange. I never felt so whole yet so light. I suddenly like this feeling. During one of our times together I noticed – hey this guy is a charmer and that’s it. My life would never be the same again.
I still live in my parents’ house which is nearly ancestral. I still have the same neighbors. I still pass along the same eucalyptus trees. I still have same bosses and still share lunch with my same colleagues. But as I embrace the magical feeling of romance, I noticed that things have changed. I suppose it’s for the better. One time, on my way to the office I felt the warmth of the sun shining through my skin. Is that your greeting? Well, then good morning. I think it will be a fine day for me. I said out loud while locking my gate. For the first time I after my mom has passed away, I gave a smile to my old neighbor. She liked me. She always says that. But I always hide from her. I don’t hate her, it’s just that I don’t want her to talk about my mom – it’s so depressing. I smiled at her and she smiled back without a word. Oh boy, this is really a good day – I can sense. As I passed through the old eucalyptus trees I smell for the first time the aromatic flavor of eucalyptus. It was so calming, so refreshing. I in haled and exhaled several times as if I’m doing meditation while walking. I could not help but to smile. This is the first time I smiled while my heart is at ease, a true old smile that I lost when almost everybody has gone.
My feelings grow as I he slowly reveals himself. I pledge to read his love letters every day. A love letters that have been compiled and made into a book which many called – the bible. He never holds my hand while I’m walking, but he’s always touching my heart, carrying my loads and saving my soul. I never heard him saying the three magical words – I love you. But his unconditional love, his sacrifices and most of all his death on the cross is enough for me to say – hey you’ve got me there. You just did. I guess you now know who’s my Valentine’s date? I bet He would ask you too. But no worries, just say yes. Anyway, my lover is ubiquitous. Remember?
